Many of us live thinking that we are immortal andthat we are not going to get sick. However lifeshows us situations to be aware that both disease and death are part of it.
When someone close goes through a difficult situation, it affects us as much as if it were happening to ourselves.
Both in the case of someone close to us, as in our own case, it is when we fear assails and we begin to be aware that life is not eternal. We understand that Health It is very important and we begin to see things from another prism.
Priorities are redistributed and we learn to assess the simplest things. We enjoy of the little gifts of life. we passed quality time with our loved ones. We stopped attending to things that previously seemed urgent to us although in reality they were not so important.
When it is you who suffers the loss of a loved one or your own health, the experience is different.
In both cases we are losing something (a loved one and / or health). Therefore we enter the grieving process and we must go through each of its phases.
It involves not being aware of what has happened. As the name suggests, the individual denies totally loss.
When we assimilate that we have indeed suffered a loss, we get "pissed off" with Life, with God, we look for guilty, and so on. We are unable to accept what happened and we become victims.
It usually occurs in duels due to illness. In terminally ill patients, this phase sometimes occurs, in which each negotiate with himself to be able to finish what he has pending (arrive at a son's wedding, meet a grandson, etc.). In this phase of the grieving process, each one embraces whatever is given forces to keep fighting.
It is usually present in the different moments of the elaboration of the duel. It is experienced sadness for the loss, and this involves great discouragement, which prevents you from wanting anything. They can come to pass depressive episodes, that should subside over time.
This is the phase to which everyone aspires but not everyone manages to reach it. There are people who over time come to "resign" to living with that loss but do not accept it. As a consequence, it becomes a taboo subject that no one can talk about..
The phase of acceptance it is necessary to reach it to be able to live a duel that we could consider as “healthy”. It involves a change of vision, in which it is assumed that the loss is inevitable.
These phases serve to understand the evolution that a person who is experiencing a duel goes through. They do not always follow this specific order and not all grieving people go through these five phases.
It is also important to note that each one lives the loss as best they can. The time to be able to live that grief in a healthy way varies according to each person and according to the type of loss. That is, the grieving process is hard and long and depends on many factors..
What we are really afraid of is not getting sick, dying or losing a loved one. What we are really afraid of is suffer.
We understand, theoretically, that suffering involves going through tough situations, both physical and emotional. However, when we see what can happen to us is when we feel true fear or dread.
Us "Pre-occupy" too much, thinking about what will become of us, of our loved ones, etc. We waste our energies thinking about the worst.
It is a very difficult vision to adopt. If we believe that what comes into our lives is for our growth, We will learn to manage that hard trance more calmly.
And one thing is clear, the anxiety, the fear, etc, they are not good companions to overcome these situations. If you are going through any of these difficult circumstances, stop and think what emotion is dominating you..
If that emotion is fear or anxiety, try swapping it for Calm down or serenity. So you can see the situation from another perspective, and little by little you will understand why you have lived that experience.
We cannot change the external circumstances around us. What we can change is the way we deal with them.
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