The toxic relationships They can occur in couples, family, friends or acquaintances, and their main characteristic is that the relationship has negative consequences for both parties, being one of the two members the one that normally has the greatest negative influence.
In this article you will find the characteristic symptoms that occur in toxic relationships that will help you discover if you find yourself in this situation.
When you feel the desire to share your life with a partner, you seek love and support from the other. That each day and each moment shared with that person, signify positive emotions and make your life happy.
You also want that to be in both directions, that is, that the other person can also feel the same as you. But sometimes, instead, every moment in common with your partner only makes you feel sad, outraged or even worthless and then it turns into toxic love..
When this situation is recurrent, it is that you are living a relationship that is detrimental to your mental well-being..
Pay attention to some of the following situations and behaviors, they may be signs that you are living a toxic relationship:
This is the most obvious. If the arguments are frequent it is clear that something is not working in the couple's relationship. Especially if it involves insults and destructive discussions.
Negativity is contagious. If one member of the couple is very negative in life in general, it is possible that they transmit the negativity to the other person.
It is about interpreting life events negatively. For example, being unemployed can be the source of countless complaints or of seeing the opportunity to find a better job..
What does leadership mean in an emotional context? That one of the two people is the one who makes the important decisions, is the one who guides the times and is ultimately the one who defines the direction that that couple takes.
This situation is more likely to occur when one of the two members has a more permeable temperament when faced with certain pressures. Also a greater vulnerability makes the other take the reins of the couple.
This behavior is not healthy, although it can be very comfortable for someone who is “led” but in the long run, that person will feel devalued and little contributor..
It is essential that neither of the two members of the couple is emotionally dependent.
If a relationship has caused other previous relationships to be destroyed, it is necessary to stop and think.
For example, if a girl starts a relationship with a boy who by his behavior alienates the girl from her family, it is a toxic relationship. The fact is that the family is a fundamental area of the life of any person and having a relationship to destroy others does not make sense..
Relationships should exist to become better people, both relationally and professionally, not just to live together or have children.
If a couple makes us miserable and prevents us from achieving the goals that excite us, it is toxic, and not only prevents you from working on your dreams, but in the long term it will make you unhappy.
Similar to the first sign, but in this case both people depend on each other. Sometimes it is easy to confuse love with dependence, because it is believed that to love one needs the other to live.
No one should need anyone to live in order to have a healthy relationship. Although it seems that the pain of a separation will be unbearable, need or fear are never valid reasons to keep a partner..
The main consequence this brings is resentment. Over time, a grudge grows towards the other. In the least expected moment the guilt will explode and the other will be the culprit of everything bad that is happening to you.
Each member must be responsible for himself and the decisions he makes, otherwise the problems will not take long to appear.
This is another common symptom of toxic relationships. In a healthy relationship, you are supposed to give to receive. That is, you have to be kind, be willing to contribute something positive to the life of the other person..
For example, if a girl tells her boyfriend that she wants him to spend Saturdays with her. The boy gives in, yet the girl does not give in to the boy's objective requests.
If a member of the couple always asks for something, but does not provide it himself or does not give in to other (objective) requests of the couple, it is a toxic relationship, which is also likely to provoke frequent discussions.
When this happens, it is one of the main signs of a toxic relationship. Each person's past, with its positive and negative aspects, is used to justify current events.
Generally, in a toxic relationship, things that the other did wrong are used to blame them. When one of the two members of the couple, repeatedly speaks of the past to refer to the present actions, what they seek is to manipulate the other.
In the case in which both are the ones who “appeal” to this resource, this will translate into a competition to see who was wrong the most.
If this is happening to you, you are on the wrong path, because nothing good can be built from guilt and reproaches..
When a couple expresses and experiences certain behaviors in terms of completing each other, it is a clear sign that there are problems.
Frequently one hears phrases such as, "in a true couple one completes each other", or that "both find in the other what each one does not have". This is a mistake, as each person must "complete" and fulfill their expectations for themselves..
The fact that each one learns from the virtues of the other and understands their defects does not mean complementing each other. Each person has their flaws and their virtues and based on this is that they should try to improve every day.
You cannot look in the other for what I lack. If you really need something, try to cultivate it and procure it yourself.
If you are in a relationship in which you know that the other is hiding something from you, or in which you are hiding something, then you are in a toxic relationship.
Never and under no circumstances should you justify this attitude, even if it is an omission. If there are things that you cannot say to the other person, either out of fear or lack of confidence, then it is a sign that things are not working as they should..
It is common that in certain situations, people omit to say things to their partner because they believe "that they will react better" or simply do not want to make them bitter..
If your case is one of these, then you are lying. And the lie can never be justified.
When emotional blackmail becomes a resource in a relationship, then you are in an unhealthy relationship.
For blackmail to occur, there must be two consenting parties. If you have to blackmail the other, it is because you are not naturally getting the answer you would like, and if that happens you have to talk about it.
If you are the blackmailed, you have contributed to creating spaces for these unhealthy situations to be generated in a couple.
When you are in a relationship where you cannot ask, receive or offer forgiveness, simply because you know it would not be from the heart, then it is another sign of toxicity..
When in a couple there is no room for genuine and authentic forgiveness, it is because there is not enough openness or willingness for that couple to grow.
Sometimes it is easy to say "I forgive you" but a resentment remains inside you, because it seems to you that what he did is very serious and you will not forget it.
When a short time after asking for forgiveness the situation is recurrent, then there was no sincerity when asking for forgiveness or when accepting it.
People are different and it is expected that in a couple there is one who has a more prominent character than the other. But this does not mean that a relationship of domination should be established..
When the member who has a more passive character becomes the object of mistreatment, then the bond is unhealthy.
When a couple lives a projected relationship in perfect situations, it is not a healthy relationship. Nothing and no one can be based on ideal facts, for the simple reason that ideality and perfection do not exist.
When a couple thinks in terms of perfection and idealization, they are not living reality, which is why they are not growing..
If each member of the couple has independent projects, it is a good sign. However, the opposite extreme is negative: that there is no common plan.
For a healthy relationship to exist, it is recommended that you share projects in common with your partner and that you have projects and life apart.
There are several reasons, but among the most common are the following:
-An almost uncontrollable desire to be with a partner, just not to be alone. Such is the need you feel for having a partner, that you are willing to pay any price.
In this case, there may be a dependency personality disorder.
-Low self-esteem. This can make the person justify many behaviors typical of an unhealthy relationship. A person may come to think that he is worthy of living a relationship that does not fully satisfy him. Feel that's what you deserve, no more.
-Difficulty living in "loneliness". Socially there is significant pressure when it comes to living alone. In fact, the word loneliness often takes on the wrong meaning in this context..
Being almost a synonym of failure, it is frowned upon to meet with friends, and just to be the only one who is not in a relationship. "Poor! What a pity that he does not have a partner ”, is a common phrase to represent this behavior.
When a person is vulnerable, they become a partner at the first opportunity that crosses their path.
The good news is that you can get out of a toxic relationship, while the bad news is that it is usually not an easy process..
One of the big reasons why it is not easy is because many times it can be difficult to realize that you are involved in a toxic partner..
The family or the closest environment is the first to notice that the situation is not right. They see you sad and worried /, and are usually complicit in situations in which the couple shows their crisis.
Each human being has his or her strategy, but talking about the issue and seeking help are usually the best tools when it comes to visualizing the problem in its true dimension..
Once you have achieved it, you can take the plan that best suits your case and thus end that relationship that makes you sick..
And have you experienced any of these signs of toxic relationships? I am interested in your opinion. Thanks!
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