When I entered the faculty of Psychology A few years ago I imagined myself sitting in my office listening to someone speak and I, as in the movies, sitting with a pose that would project my knowledge and confidence about what I was doing, like those stereotypical images that we find when writing in some search engine on the net "psychologist" or "Freud". Some time later, today sitting writing this essay, I take a tour of what I have studied and what I have learned, which I clarify, is not the same, to try to understand the role of the therapist and keep in mind that he also plays the role of patient on his own.
I started in the world of therapy some time ago, as a patient and as a therapist. I do not mean to use the words with which people tend to describe their profession "great", "incredible", "wonderful", and not because I do not believe that it is so, but I believe that at this moment in my life the best word that defines the world I'm entering is this: weird.
Now I explain why. Studying psychology made him the subject of comments such as "you are going to analyze me", but of all the phrases that I could hear, some offensive, others funny and others simple, the one that made me the most figure was "and that you're a psychologist ...". I remember that at first it irritated me a little (quite) to hear her, it made me respond with a question to refute that pointless comment. What did they believe? Because I'm a psychologist, don't I feel and don't live the other emotional processes that any human being experiences? Or because I was a psychologist, did I have to control myself, not give my opinion or give my best smile when inside I wanted to scream?
But now that I'm living it, I understand why they said that, because they don't see that the psychologist lives the same as they do. I have given therapy to some patients and I can affirm that I also feel a patient with my patient. And now that I write this, I know that I am, I am a patient working with another patient, because I work from Gestalt and this is how I conceive this approach, I am not more than him, much less I have less problems than him, we work and create together, using our own resources.
The therapist is then exposed to hear various stories, to see, to feel, to experience the same as his patient while accompanying him. I think beyond being psychologists, we are people, with our ghosts, past, fears and frustrations, which will inevitably be present in the therapeutic session. A few days ago I was reading an article related to this on the internet, where the author invited us to reflect on the way in which psychologists perceive ourselves, and also how others do it. He just mentioned that many of the beliefs that are held about the profession is that they see us as beings to whom nothing happens or that should not happen to us, because after all "we are psychologists, right?" But in reality we are people who live, with all that this implies, which will be reflected in the way we relate to the world; the office, the patient and the therapeutic session are also part of the world.
From the Gestalt therapy approach, the therapeutic process carried out implies the active presence of the therapist, which does not attend, does not listen, does not help. The therapist's job is to accompany. Gestalt therapy has a dialogical sense, as Martin Buber proposed the I - you relationship. Starting from this, the bond between patient and therapist is strengthened, they are in a contact situation in which both create a relationship. Therefore, we therapists also exist in the session, and we bring a whole baggage of experiences, emotions, thoughts and feelings that will impact what we are building with the patient..
That said, I would like to focus on the emotional implications that arise in the therapist within the therapy and it interests me because as the therapist works with himself, he will be able to do so with the other..
I remember a patient who presented an issue in relation to his father. I decided not to delve into that field, I was afraid. As I listened to her, I visualized my father, myself, and our situation. And I could understand it. Not because I was in confluence with her, I believe rather because I put her experience in mine and I was able to understand his pain and anger, from my own pain and anger.
In the latter, Gestalt therapy emphasizes from the frontier work, the active presence of the therapist, since we are our main tool, it is important, and necessary, to be familiar with our feelings, our ghosts and with everything that we have been adding to our suitcase.
I would have liked to know what could have happened if I had shared my feelings and together working on what had been formed between us, perhaps it would have been very interesting, however I also think to what extent it is valid to share with the patient and I think it would be important here reflect on how far the therapeutic goes and how far you go into a coffee chat with a friend and not with my patient.
Many therapists affirm that we can share what is ours with the patient as long as this leads us to something, that is the therapeutic aspect, otherwise I would already be putting my attention on myself, on what happens to me, neglecting my patient, and of course this is a dialogical relationship, of course horizontality is sought, but at the time of the session, the process is my patient's and not mine.
I would say that the line is very thin, perhaps almost imperceptible, or perhaps more distinguishable with experience. As far as I can put my part "Citlalli woman" being in the session and my patient in front needing my part "Citlalli therapist", I believe that both are not separated, my part Citlalli real life is with my part therapist. According to the above, assuming that the field paradigm is based on the relationship and on what my patient and I build in relationship, it is very important that both parties work together.
Frontier work is part of the existential phenomenology of Heidegger (being-in-the-world), from which the impact that the patient has on me will be useful to the patient, that is, by sharing what makes his experience born in me I help him to build together something, since that is precisely the subject of the patient, what is being built in the relationship. However, It should not be forgotten that as a therapist I represent the patient's environment, therefore when making our disclosures we must be aware of this.
Beyond being psychologists, therapists, we are people, humans, who also suffer, who also laugh, live and, without a doubt, we do not know everything. Let our ego not invade us, let us not forget our real life part, because that part is our main tool to work with the other, to land on a ground in which we will both draw a path.
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