Apart from having a I work full-time, I also study, I do sports and I try to carry out this blog. In order to comply with everything I need to structure myself, otherwise half of the things would fall by the wayside.
However, when any kind of problem or unforeseen event arises in my life, I let all the areas I just mentioned be affected in some way. With this attitude, I allow the problem to increase in size and spread to areas with which it should not have any kind of relationship.. Let's say that I find it difficult to "disconnect" from the problems.
To explain it better I will put a fictitious but possible example: for those who do not know me, I am dedicated to advertising and marketing. Let's say I have to prepare a material for a fair, and for various reasons the material has not arrived on time and my people have to attend the fair empty-handed. Whether it is my direct or indirect responsibility, this situation is going to cause me a major headwind that will lead to a tension headache throughout that day.
As a consequence, any activity that is scheduled outside of working hours, whether studying or playing sports, it will be affected. Maybe for someone else this is not important, but luckily or unfortunately I am the way I am. Not studying if an exam is coming or not playing sports if a competition is coming up causes me discomfort.
And with this discomfort, the only thing that I am achieving is giving a much greater power to the problem that had arisen at work.
Over time I am learning to dismantle this pattern of thought and to divide the parts of my life in such a way that they do not affect each other.. For this I have been experimenting with three strategies that are giving me good results:
Acting as if you don't have any problem that worries you is the main rule of thumb to dismantle it. Do not stay lying on the couch eating your head and making the problem bigger and bigger.
Instead, go out and run the 10 km you had planned or get up and study that topic that you still have pending. You can also clean those areas of the house that you always procrastinate or call a friend that you have not seen for a long time.. If you manage to start and finish any of these things, you will see that your problem has decreased in size.
By doing something superior I mean doing something a notch above what you usually do. On a normal day I can go for a run for 60 minutes or study 1 topic. However, on a bad day I try to do something above these numbers, such as running 90 minutes or studying 2 topics.
It's like telling your brain "ok, you've had a dog day but at least we're going to make it work for something".
When you have a problem you must learn to keep worry at bay and that the problem does not invade all your thoughts. Otherwise that mental effort that you dedicate to return over and over to the problem all it does is magnify it. As a consequence you start to experience anticipatory anxiety combined with irrational thoughts and ideas about the problem. And all this the only thing that generates is more anxiety.
To get out of this vicious circle you must try to put yourself in the worst situation and ask yourself in a rational and objective way what is the worst thing that could happen to you if you do not solve this problem. You will see that the answer you get will be very far from your worst irrational fears.
If you cannot have this conversation with yourself, try to share your concern with a person in your intimate circle.. Sometimes this is the best way to get an objective point of view..
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