6 basic pillars of personal development

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David Holt
6 basic pillars of personal development

Once a psychologist told me one very interesting metaphor and I believe in it so much that over the years I have dedicated myself to perfecting it and including it in my most motivating speeches.

We are small spiders with 6 legs that support us (yes, I know that spiders have 8 legs ...), each and every one of them is just as important. They are our foundations and what sustains us and helps us to walk forward.

And for all the legs, remember that quality will always make you happier than quantity..

First leg: Friendship

It is important that we take care of our friends as well as make sure that they take care of us. Don't let him eat you pride but don't step on you either dignity. Make efforts for those who deserve it and learn to say no when it is relevant. Don't let them get on your hump but don't get on yourself either. And above all, take out the toxic friendships out of your life NOW. We will talk about how to detect them in another article because this topic really gives a lot to talk about.

In conclusion, look at your environment, find out who your friends really are, who you spend time with quality (Watch out! That doesn't mean always doing interesting things, it means doing whatever you want at all times) and enjoy. There always has to be a time for a friend.

Second leg: Love

Because we all like to feel wanted and wanted. Because we like to be admired, complimented, taken care of, protected ... I am not saying that it is mandatory to have a partner, but I say that as instinct we always tend to have someone in mind.

If you have a partner, take care of it and understand it. The basis of a stable partner is patience and good communication, so it is not only important to cultivate these two virtues but I have realized that small efforts are the most powerful tools in a relationship.

Advice: One day you come angry and just want to rant, instead of doing it when you see your partner, instead of wanting to pour everything you have inside on her, try to shut up and try to channel it yourself (remember that there is a big difference between telling a situation and “vomiting” a problem, both being the same story, one only provides information and the second negative emotions). You leave work, and that leg should stay. Now you are on the “love” leg. Why do you extend the infection from one leg to the other? That only weakens. If you manage not to let go, at the end of the day you will realize that if you had let go of everything you would only have managed to spread the bad vibes also to your afternoon and your dinner.

Third leg: You 

Many times we are so aware of what is happening around us that we forget ourselves. When i talk about your I mean: physical health, mental health, physical care and personal satisfaction.

The appearance that we have on the outside on many occasions coincides with our internal state. Take care of yourself, dedicate yourself to yourself, do things that you want to do. Don't mind being judged or not having a battle partner. Every day you should spend at least 30 minutes doing something for yourself, something that you and only you are excited about. I don't care if it's a 30-minute shower, taking time to curl your hair, washing your car and leaving it like the jets of gold, watching Walking Dead or going to the Botanical Museum. But always spend some time, It is not fair that we spend so much time on others and so little on ourselves.

Physical and mental health: Sport helps a lot to physical and mental health, it is hard to become aware, it is hard to put on your shoes or go for a run or go to the gym, it is hard to see how the seconds pass slowly on the treadmill while your exhaustion increases exponentially. But later, once the challenge is achieved, all are benefits: physical well-being, better rest, elimination of fat, mental well-being, heart health, feeling of happiness… I have a friend who whenever she goes to the gym she tells me: “I'm going to get my happiness drug!”, and hey, what a great truth!

And regarding the personal satisfaction: Set yourself realistic and achievable challenges, keep your word with yourself and with others, set short-term challenges so that you can see results and motivate yourself. Do not get carried away, you are not a leaf and the wind does not blow you. You mark the steps of your life, so go ahead and walk!

Fourth leg: Family

And when we finally get out of the teenage phase in which we only care: smoking, going out, drinking, flirting and doing whatever they tell us no to. When we realize that we are not the navel of the world and the great support that our parents represent in our lives, when all this happens we finally realize that how important is family.

Take care of them. Parents, brothers, uncles, grandparents ... and the fact is that in all families they cook beans, and we all know that. But how do we like to complain! “They are heavy, they call a lot, they criticize a lot, they give their opinion about what they shouldn't…” blablablá and more criticisms, but when we are in the hospital, who are the first to visit us? They tip as if we were going back to childhood? When we have a problem, who are the first to look for solutions? The family, the one that is always there and that is why we ignore it. That which we think we cannot lose, that we neither feel nor suffer. Those to whom we do not spend the time they deserve.

I recommend you: Why don't you give them a chance? Spend a Friday afternoon on a Saturday afternoon with the family, oh! The unthinkable! Well, try and perhaps you will be surprised at how loved you feel, how much it contributes and that there is nothing more unconditional. It is a very important leg that we usually have undervalued, only when we lose relatives do we realize that they were pieces of your family that little by little is diminishing.

Fifth leg: Professional life

I have always believed that working on what we like and enjoying at work was essential, but unfortunately this is not always the case. Every day I see thousands of stories of layoffs, people dissatisfied with their jobs, or with the path they chose, employers who have unmotivated employees and people who only work because otherwise they would live under a bridge.

Think, what do you like? What worries you? Are you motivated in your work??

We spend 2/3 of our life working. If the day has 24 hours, normally 9 of us work and 8 we sleep, which leaves us with 7 hours of leisure. Of which at least 1 we lose in transfers. Do the math and think, how do you spend your hours?

I am tired of hearing "I should have studied Fine Arts", "I am doing this because I have no other choice but in reality I would like to work in this other", "I would like to change jobs but I do not dare, I am very older now ”. Why?

I am not saying that you jump into the void and leave everything. I say there is always alternatives and there is only one life, why dedicate it to something that does not make you happy?

Sixth leg: Leisure

We work, earn money, pay mortgages or rents, electricity, water ... we pay for mobile phones, food, insurance, medicines ... we pay and we pay.

As José Mujica, President of Uruguay, says very wisely, "When you buy with silver, you are not buying with silver, you are buying with the time of your life that you had to spend to have that money".

If you realize, when we do not take care of ourselves or we do not dedicate ourselves little moments of leisure, we are simply living to work. That is why it is important that we learn to enjoy our free time to do things that we like with the people we love..

Just as you need to motivate yourself, play sports, feel loved ... fun is very important. Laugh until we cry, because of tickling, silly humor or because someone has fallen. For a funny little battle or for how your friend talks about his life. Get out of the house, share, laugh, enjoy your city, the people, the smells, the flavors ... get to know! Enrich yourself with everything that life offers you. Value your free time as something sacred and unique, time that you can share or not but time that you have to dedicate to doing what you really want. Savor life!

So with this we end the analysis of the 6 spider legs. Remember that just because one person is ill or has a small sprain does not mean that the rest of the legs wobble as well. For that you have 6, so that there can always be legs that make the cover when the others need it. Don't spread your infection the others and take care of them all, with affection and with the greatest delicacy because as long as one is injured, you will have the others to support you.


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