Self-esteem, what it is and how to improve it in 8 steps

Robert Johnston
Self-esteem, what it is and how to improve it in 8 steps

An adequate level of self-esteem is the basis of the body's mental and physical health.


  • What is self esteem?
  • Self-concept and self-esteem
  • Qualities of a person with adequate self-esteem
  • 8 practical tips to improve our self-esteem
    • 1. Don't complain
    • 2. Learn from mistakes
    • 3. Have a better sense of humor
    • 4. Pay more attention to yourself
    • 5. Set limits on others
    • 6. Cultivate your friendships
    • 7. Have a Hobby
    • 8. Dream
  • A good self-esteem gives us ...

What is self esteem?

The concept we have of our capabilities and our potential is not only based on our way of being, but also on our experiences throughout life. What has happened to us, the relationships we have had with others (family, friends, etc.), the sensations we have experienced, all influence our character and therefore the image we have of ourselves..

Self-concept and self-esteem

Self-concept derives from the subjective comparison that we make of our person against others, as well as what they tell us and the behaviors they direct towards us. Personal successes and failures also influence the way we value ourselves.

A person with low self-esteem is usually someone insecure, who distrusts their own faculties and does not want to make decisions for fear of being wrong. In addition, it needs the approval of others because it has many complexes. They tend to have a distorted image of themselves, both in terms of physical features and their personal worth or character.

All this produces a feeling of inferiority and shyness when interacting with other people. He finds it difficult to make new friends and is aware of what they will say or think about him, because he has an excessive fear of rejection, of being misjudged and of being abandoned. The affective dependence he has is the result of his need for approval, since he does not love himself enough to value himself positively.

Another problem caused by being undervalued is the inhibition of the expression of feelings for fear of not being reciprocated. If something goes wrong in a relationship or friendship, the person with a lack of self-esteem will believe that this is their fault, often misinterpreting the facts and the communication between the two. He feels depressed in the face of any frustration, sinks when he fails in his endeavors and therefore avoids doing projects or abandons them at the first major difficulty or small failure.

Qualities of a person with adequate self-esteem

  • Has a positive and realistic view of herself and her abilities.
  • He does not need the approval of others, he does not believe himself to be better or worse than anyone.
  • Show your feelings and emotions freely.
  • Face new challenges with optimism, trying to overcome fear and assuming responsibilities.
  • Communicates easily and is satisfied with social relationships, values ​​friendship and has initiative in addressing people.
  • He knows how to accept frustrations, learns from failures, is creative and innovative, likes to develop projects and perseveres in his goals.

To try to increase our self-esteem we must first of all start by being our best friends, knowing that there is nothing or nobody in this world more important than ourselves. That is why we have to accept ourselves as we are, thinking that there is no one better or worse, even if we are all different, because that is what human diversity is based on..

8 practical tips to improve our self-esteem

1. Don't complain

The fact of loving ourselves more and better is in our hands, not in those of others. Everything resides in the head and we are the ones who must try to change our self-concept. If a personal relationship does not work out, never think that the fault is only yours, between two people both parties are responsible for their behavior. The truth in the end is that there was only one character incompatibility.

2. Learn from mistakes

A wise person is one who is capable of learning from his own mistakes, since these will be a lesson learned that he will never repeat again. When you learn and see that you grow, you feel better. Do not be afraid of responsibilities or making decisions, if something goes wrong learn from your mistakes and have the courage to try again. Nobody is free from mistakes in this life and sometimes you have to see the positive side of failures, think that even if some doors are closed, then others will open that may be even better..

3. Have a better sense of humor

Develop a sense of humor, do not give so much importance to things that do not have it, or to the possible comments of others. Surely on most occasions we make ourselves mountains unnecessarily, people are not always aware of what we do or say, everything is in our imagination.

4. Pay yourself more attention

Pay attention to yourself, take time to do what makes you happy and satisfies you. We all know that trying to look good is a great thing to boost your self-esteem, but don't overdo it because no one is perfect. However, trying to look good is already a first step to not being abandoned and loving yourself a little more..

5. Set limits on others

Here we are not talking about being arrogant, but about respecting yourself. We all have to learn to say "no" to the abuse of others. If you can prevent people from doing what they want with you, it will make you value yourself more and help you raise your self-esteem. Therefore, we are not talking about being rude, we are simply saying that it is necessary to set certain limits ...

6. Cultivate your friendships

It is always good to have trusted people around with whom you can open up, vent and even ask for advice. Real friends are like your family because they will be with you no matter what happens and will remind you that you are important to them.

7. Have a Hobby

Doing something that you like will not only help you feel better and be happier, but it will also make you set goals that you have to try to overcome. Everyone needs to rest and do activities that they enjoy, but don't go too far because leisure time cannot last all day. If your hobby is something that involves physical activity, even better, since you can also release energy, something very positive to combat stress, anxiety and depression.

8. Dream

Generally people tend to be more and more pessimistic in life as they get older, spending much more time thinking about negative things than dreaming. Having dreams, big or small, is good to keep the illusion in life. You can dream what you want, after all, dreaming is free and has no limits. Also, having dreams is very motivating when you try to fulfill them..

A good self-esteem gives us ...

  • Greater acceptance of yourself and others.
  • Less tension and better position to handle stress.
  • A more positive and optimistic outlook on life.
  • A good acceptance of personal responsibilities and the feeling of having better control of things.
  • More independence.
  • Better ability to listen to others.
  • Greater emotional balance.
  • You will enjoy social situations, but also loneliness.
  • Greater self-confidence, more humor and creativity.
  • Less fear of risks and failures, which will become opportunities, challenges, experiences.
  • An increased ability to express feelings.
  • Negative feelings such as envy or resentment will disappear.
  • You will have greater enthusiasm, motivation, enthusiasm and the ability to enjoy the great and small pleasures of life.

It is not easy to change our self-esteem, if it were, surely no one would suffer for having it too low, nor would there be shy or dependent people, but we must believe that there is nothing impossible if we really make an effort to achieve it.

With these techniques we have given you some ideas for those people who do not know very well how to raise self-esteem. Finally, I wanted to share a reflection: the best way to feel good about yourself is after seeing the results of your work, whether in the work or personal environment. Starting things is positive, but finishing them is essential to keep our self-esteem high and thus seek the next challenge. You just have to get out of the vicious cycle of inactivity and never listen to the voice of laziness..

People have enough capacities to change and learn throughout our lives, because as the saying goes "faith moves mountains".

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