Verbal bullying 17 warning signs and how to deal with it

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Abraham McLaughlin
Verbal bullying 17 warning signs and how to deal with it

The verbal bullying They are verbal aggressions that the aggressors and their assistants are capable of doing to the victim with the help of words. Some examples are nicknames, nicknames, insults, insults, or rumors.

The most common signs of verbal bullying are nerves, fear, reluctance, lack of appetite, isolation, drug use, not wanting to go to school, preferring to be alone and others that we will explain below..

In recent decades, the media and the internet have highlighted the news related to adolescent and youth violence and, specifically, with that which occurs in the school environment or derived from it.

This, together with the recent suicides of minors due to bullying both in Spain and in other countries, has led to an increase in the traffic of information between education professionals and their families on how to identify and face this problem.

What is verbal bullying?

There are different types of bullying such as verbal, sexual, physical and cybernetic, among others. In this we are going to talk in detail about verbal bullying, therefore, we have seen it convenient to start with its definition.

Verbal bullying are all those messages, whether spoken or written, that attack the integrity of the person who receives them.

Not because it is not physical, this problem is minor since attacks like these affect the person emotionally, so they are usually even worse than physical abuse.

What are their characteristics?

Verbal bullying is quite common in schools regardless of age, although it is true that it can occur more frequently in adolescence, as we already know, this fact can affect the well-being of the person who suffers it due to the time of exposure and its prolongation.

They usually appear in the form of threats, teasing, nicknames, harassment, etc., by a group of people or their leader.

The victim is normally a person who could be considered as defenseless since they do not have the necessary tools to face this situation, which causes fear, hurts their self-esteem significantly and lowers their school performance.

On the other hand, since it is a type of bullying that is seen or heard frequently, all the classmates close to their environment or who are part of their class group, are aware that this type of actions are occurring.

Unfortunately, it is very common for them to do nothing to remedy it by inviting the aggressor to continue with their actions and go to the next level: physical abuse.

How can we detect it?

On many occasions from educational centers these facts go unnoticed, even identifying it when bullying has claimed the life of the victim or has already caused irreparable damage to their psychological and physical well-being..

Therefore, having the right tools to know how to identify it in its early stages is essential. Here are the main signs of the most common verbal bullying:

Aggressive body language

It can give us a great clue about what is happening on the playground or even in class. Believe it or not, some gestures can become a form of verbal bullying.

For example: if we move our hands and arms back and forth while they are in tension and half bent, we can understand it as a threat of suffocation.

Screaming frequently

If we see that a group of students or one in particular always addresses a classmate by yelling or speaking in a derogatory way, it can be another great indicator that something is happening.

Ignorance towards the victim

Another indicator is ignoring a partner or not speaking to him during group activities and excluding him from them. These gestures will make the victim feel guilty or indignant since they do not know exactly why the behavior of their companions.

Use of derogatory comments

Bullies typically make disparaging comments about their victims, whether it's because of their skin color, gender, or religion. They tend to make fun of them anywhere and insult their ideas, behaviors or beliefs. Usually they always deny the facts.

Constant bad taste jokes

The victim usually receives constant jokes from the aggressor or his group of bad taste. Phrases such as “you are a four-eyed”, “big ear, big head or glasses” are usually “jokes” that they use and that can have a very negative influence on the victims.

Makes the victim feel uncomfortable

Either through the exclusion he receives from his fellow bullies in class or the insults and jokes he receives. This will feel very uncomfortable, so you will be seated at the end of the class where you will avoid participating and having contact with any classmate for fear that these events will be repeated frequently.

These and other signs can tell us that something is happening in our class. On some occasions and due to an argument or misunderstanding, some may occur, not for this reason we should be alarmed but we must be attentive and observe the behaviors of our students.

How does it affect the person who receives it?

Young people who suffer verbal bullying may feel a host of negative feelings and emotions that will drastically affect their emotional well-being and therefore their life in general..

Although at first glance it may seem that the victims of this type of harassment are in perfect condition, we must not forget that we have to observe that the consequences it causes are mental and psychological and that out of fear, they tend to hide the consequences of this type of violence.

They not only have to carry with it that every day they are calling him things and that they threaten him, but also with the fact that they have to hide it from their friends and family for fear that the attacks will go to another level, the physical.

These people tend to suffer a lot from all that it entails and can often change their behavior drastically.

On the other hand, they can also show their feelings differently, so as family members and education professionals, we must know how to identify the signs that this type of harassment can show in the victims who suffer it:

1- Decrease in food intake

Victims of this type of bullying begin to lose their appetite. They usually pretend to eat and when they are alone they throw away the food or hide it so that no one can see it. This may be due to the great tension they feel.

2- Daily nerves and tension

They tend to be alert and nervous all the time about what might happen or what their buddies and their main aggressor might do to them. This constant uncertainty creates insecurity and makes them unable to live a normal life.

3- fear

All the above points lead to the afraid, fear of what they may say, fear of the joke that they may play or even fear that tomorrow he will begin to suffer physical bullying.

4- Avoid social networks or the internet in general

They do not want to connect to social networks or the internet, since in many cases verbal bullying is the basis of all the types of bullying that exist.

For this reason, on many occasions the profiles of social networks are deleted in order to avoid an increase in aggressions.

5- Does not want to participate in activities

For fear that they may play tricks on him in the presence of the teacher and that his classmates, both cronies and those who allow this type of act, laugh at him and publicly humiliate him, he will avoid participating in all kinds of activities in which they have to talk or go out. To the blackboard.

6- He prefers to be alone

One way out of your suffering is to be alone. In this way, he thinks that there will be no one to threaten him or make him feel inferior and weak. This is a mistake that most young people who suffer this type of bullying usually make.

7- You feel anxiety when you have to go to school

He will do his best not to go to school until he pretends to be sick. For victims, having to face the school can even cause anxiety attacks due to the tension they suffer..

8- Drug use

Another avenue of escape from their suffering is drugs. When bullied in adolescence, many young people decide to rely on them to avoid their thoughts and their discomfort.

9- He does not want to go out

For fear of meeting their aggressors outside of school, many victims do not want to go out alone or with other peers, so they will always be at home.

10- Continued fouls to the center

On the other hand, due to the great anxiety that going to school produces, he will try to avoid going at all costs, thus increasing his absences in the center.

11- He does not want to go out to recess

In class, due to the presence of teachers, verbal harassment may occur to a lesser extent. However, at recess, although there is supervision from teachers, they cannot control this type of harassment in a simple way. It will be there at that moment, when the stalker and his cronies take out their victim.

These and other signs can help us to identify that our child or student is being a victim of verbal bullying.

We have to emphasize that on many occasions a child may present some of these indicators, this does not mean that he is a victim of these actions.

Therefore, we have to observe our surroundings very well and bear in mind these and other signs that may be decisive for their identification..

Why happens?

Although it is difficult to understand exactly why there are aggressors and perform this type of actions towards other colleagues. There may be several reasons that help us explain this type of behavior:

  • To impress your friends or build some kind of reputation. On many occasions, bullies are also victims because they have low self-esteem and need to feel loved and accepted by their peer group. Therefore, one way to do it is by attacking a partner who is weaker than the.
  • They may have been intimidated. Another reason why they decide to carry out this type of harassment may be because it was even harassed on another type. It is not the most common but it can also happen and it is a way that he has to reveal himself against the world and against his own stalker.
  • To receive care. On many occasions, bullies have not had a happy childhood or have not seen their needs fully met by the parenting or education style that their parents have given them. Therefore, one way to get paid attention, even if it is not the most appropriate, is to harass a partner.
  • As a way to escape. Due to the problems that may exist at home, they use bullying a partner as an escape route to feel better..

The real reasons why a stalker decides to be one depends on the person and their characteristics. Here we have presented some ideas that can help us understand exactly why this type of bullying occurs.

How can this type of bullying be prevented or dealt with??

Here are some guidelines on how this type of harassment can be prevented or dealt with from schools, the family environment, as well as with the victim:

From the family

  • Stable development environment governed by standards. In most cases the problem begins here, without realizing it we are forging a possible bully with our parenting and education style. We have to be aware that the child needs a stable and safe environment full of love for its correct physical and mental development. Therefore, having an environment with norms and values ​​will make the minor a stable and calm person. A permissive parenting style and an environment without rules could be the cause or trigger of subsequent aggressive behaviors and therefore bullying.
  • Control the media. Television and new technologies in general can affect minors in a negative way. Normally, these are exposed to programs that use verbal violence, so from home parents should be aware of monitoring the types of programs they watch daily to control their content.
  • Talk to your kids about bullying. It is important that the family talk to minors about bullying in general and its negative consequences for the people who suffer it in order to sensitize children and prevent it from occurring.

If you are a victim of verbal bullying

  • Don't shut up. Ask an adult for help, be it a teacher or someone you trust. They may be able to take action against your stalker and his cronies. Do not think that the situation could get worse if you tell it, it is best to stop it as soon as possible and one of the possible ways is by taking this first step
  • Tell it at home. You cannot go through this alone, you have to ask your family for help and tell about it. These will offer you support and understanding, just what you need to improve your emotional and mental well-being. On the other hand, they will also help you in the detention process and find solutions to what is happening to you..
  • Try to stop the aggressor. Talk to the aggressor and his group to make them understand that they are making mistakes and that they carry out other types of activities that are not insulting or annoying you.
  • Ignore your bullies and stay away from them. The best thing you can do is avoid your attackers as much as possible, even if it costs you. Maybe they get tired of you ignoring them and stop.
  • Keep calm. You have to stay calm at all times, if they see that you get nervous they will know that they are getting what they want in you and they will act more frequently.

As a teacher

  • Talk to your students. It is important that the school gives talks to young people about bullying in order to raise awareness and prevent this type of school violence. Sometimes, holding conferences with people who have suffered it in a real way and want to tell about their experience can be an excellent activity.
  • stay informed. Being aware of the prevention and action guidelines in these cases is essential as well as the existing tools to detect it in its early stages. In this way we will avoid its possible consequences on the victims and we can even save lives.
  • Observe your class. Do not wait until it is too late or that bullying is very developed, observe your students in class as well as at recess or in the different activities you do.
  • Act. In the event that you come across a case of bullying, act immediately, do not minimize it..

Conclusions.

Verbal bullying is a very common problem today, mainly in educational institutions.

Its consequences can be devastating for those who suffer it since it could be said that verbal bullying is only the beginning of a fight that will increase, giving way to other types of bullying such as physical or cyber bullying.

Our duty as family members and education professionals is to try to reduce the number of cases of bullying in general and verbal bullying in particular..

Therefore, knowing how to identify these facts from the beginning as well as talking with our children and students about the subject becomes something truly important..

References

  1. Cardona Gaviria. A and others (2012). Determination of risks and consequences caused by verbal bullying in the educational institution Colegio Loyola for Science and Innovation.
  2. Gómez, A., Gala, F., Lupiani, M., Bernalte, A., Miret, M., Lupiani, S. (2007). Bullying and other forms of adolescent violence. Notebooks of Forensic Medicine (48-49), 165-177.

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