Our scars or war wounds, Those that leave us the marks of our battles, won or lost, do not matter, they are scars after all. These scars do not seem to close and with time they reappear with more force, thus resurfacing our greatest fears and insecurities.
We all, throughout our lives, fight battles as a result of poorly made decisions, poorly managed emotions, heartbreak, breakups, stress, existential crises or simply because life places us in situations that we do not know how to act and from those battles, we scars remain on the soul, that sometimes we refuse to close.
We lock ourselves inside our glass cell, alone with our jailer, which are negative emotions, with the sole purpose that everything passes, to rejoice in the most extreme pain, that time heals it without facing our true fears or waiting for someone, usually the person that has hurt us, come save us.
How many times have we felt betrayed and have been unable to forgive because of our resentment? Or simply, we have not been able to face our fears, because old ghosts have resurfaced.
Our insecurities and complexes come to light and it seems that they do not go away, anger, sadness, pain, are emotions that sometimes we let them stay with us without realizing that we are the only ones responsible for them coming to stay..
Normally, what hurts us is not what they do to us but who does it to us, because generally those whom we love the most are the ones with whom we suffer the most. The pain of indifference, of non-reaction, of feeling undervalued, humiliated and misunderstood, are the feelings most experienced by human beings.
Normally, we feel “comfortable” in suffering, since it is a world that we have very explored and yet, happiness, success, trust, love… they overwhelm us so much that we prefer to put the blanket over our heads.
In order to face our weaknesses, we have to put our strengths to the test and we can only do that by being the heroes of our own history. But, sometimes we are so tired of waiting, of not receiving what we would like, of lies, of disappointments, of trusting that everything will turn out well, tired of fighting, of “pulling the car”, of being detailed with everything. the world and that no one be with you ... of wearing masks and pretending that everything is going to be fine, of wanting to disappear ...
Recently, a Cherokee story that I would like to share with you came to my hands through social media:
“An ancient Chrokee Indian said to his grandson: My son, within each one of us there is a battle between two wolves. One is Evil, which is anger, envy, resentment, inferiority, lies, and the ego. The other is benevolent; which is happiness, peace, love, hope, humility, kindness, empathy, truth.
The boy thought a bit and asked Grandpa, which wolf wins? The old man replied - the one you feed "
Thinking about this story, I realized that the existence of scars is probably because the battle was won by Malvado. The existence of scars reminds me of the famous phrase from "I forgive but I do not forget", that is that it is not forgiven and we feed more to Malvado than to Benevolent. Since then, when I find myself facing certain adversities, I ask Which wolf do you want to feed?
We all know what suffering is, but the strategies and resources used allow us to close wounds, as well as want to close them, hence we feed Benevolo because why so much suffering? Does it help you? Does it make up for so much suffering?
And the only conclusion I reach is that it is useless to suffer for suffering. Pain is inevitable but suffering is optional.
I leave you a strategy that facilitates the management of these emotional scars
Photo Credit: Silvia Travieso
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