How to manage time after divorce

Each change involves readjustments, moving things, leaving stories behind and adding new elements to rebuild your life.

A divorced friend told me that after a year and a half of the divorce, she decided that it was time to make real adjustments in her life.

And it was said:

What's the use of staying angry?
What good is it to continue sad and with resentment?
What is the use of continuing to recreate myself in the past?
You're welcome, on the contrary, make my life bitter and not move forward

"The divorce was difficult and I had to live with emotions of all kinds for a while, but then you realize that it does not help you to continue recreating yourself in pain, because you sink more".

"One day I realized that I had to fix my own interior furniture, and incidentally, renew my outside world"

The readjustment is progressive

Readjustment after divorce is not overnight, nor is it done in a rush. It takes your process and it is certainly healthy to move forward and leave the past behind.

It also involves learning to manage your time to take care of yourself, build new life purposes and new relationships..

There is a phrase by Bruce Lee that describes the need to adapt to circumstances.

"Empty your mind, be amorphous, moldable, like water. If you put water in a cup it becomes the cup. If you put water in a bottle it becomes the bottle. If you put it in a kettle it becomes the kettle. Water can flow or it can hit. Be water my friend. ".

It is essential to adapt to the new circumstances

• Changes in habits.
• Have time for activities other than those you used to do with your ex partner.
• Changes in the economy and new responsibilities within the home.
• Changes within the home and also at home.
• Adaptation of new schedules.
• Family and friend changes and readjustments

Why is it key to manage your time?

• You need to be with you.
• You need to dedicate space for all your emotions.
• You need to renew your personal, family and professional purposes.
• You need spaces to cultivate communication, friendships and relationships.

Six mistakes that prevent you from managing your time after divorce

1. Not taking time for yourself. Neglecting even your time to rest and sleep.
2. Allow them to steal your time and not set limits. The thieves of time roam freely in your territory.
3. Living remembering the past and not living in your present.
4. Refusing to explore emotions that help you feel better.
5. Make excuses to avoid setting short and medium term goals.
6. Letting fear block your personal and social development.

Three tips to manage your time

1. Personal time

Take time each day of the week to cultivate your esteem and cultivate your personal skills. Think that your time is money, and that you need yourself right now. Take a pencil and paper and write everything you are willing to do to take care of your most personal and intimate time.

• Appreciate everything you have in these moments (positive aspects of yourself and your life in general), not everything will be unpleasant and negative.
•  There are always reasons to smile. Help yourself with positive thoughts and images.
• Take care of your emotions, especially joy, peace and love. You can also sign up for workshops to regulate your emotions to feel better about yourself and in relation to others. I recommend reading 6 valuable benefits that sea water brings to emotions.
• Activate your body and neurons. Cultivate reading and music.
• Have a photo nearby that reminds you of how valuable or valuable you are and if you don't have photos nearby, look for a symbol that reminds you of your inner strength.
• Enjoy the outdoors, you just have to look carefully and you will discover stimuli that will be pleasant to see, touch and feel. Take advantage and breathe fresh air.

2. Time for new purposes

You also need space for your illusions, dreams and purposes.
Think about your life purposes, what you would like to do for yourself and to improve your life, not only personal, but also family, sentimental and as a couple. Take a pencil and paper and renew your life resolutions.

Personal purposes

• • Strengthen your self-esteem and communication skills
  • Regulate emotions and dare to overcome fears
  • Improve emotional ties and the relationship style of the couple
  • Strengthen the relationship and the time you share with your children.
  • Dedicate spaces to rest, have fun and feel good.
  • Redo your emotional life and find a partner to live with.

Purposes to renovate your house

• Change the furniture, decoration and the color of the walls of your house
• Better plan the economy and regulate expenses. Also expand revenue.
• Renovate your terrace or garden. And if you don't have a terrace or garden, sign up for an urban garden.
• Change house and start over in another place, and if you cannot change house, renew everything and adapt it to your liking.

Professional purpose

• Find your professional passion and fight for your passion
• If you want to undertake something new and different, create your action plan and seek advice from experts.
• Create your professional project and then your business.
• If you are satisfied with your current job, enjoy it, but also give yourself time for other purposes. There is life after work.
• Learn new tools for your professional purpose. There are online courses and offline courses on the market that can help you in your professional growth and in your business.

3. Time for new social relationships

In addition to taking care of you and having purposes, you need to connect with people. Do not stay in the comfort zone and allow yourself new and better social relationships.

Now you are a person without commitment, single and you have time to make new friends. Take a pencil and paper again and make a list of all the activities that you can do in your free time.

• • Join groups where you share fun activities, affinities and values. From dancing, theater, yoga, to hiking.
  • Call your friends to chat, go on vacation, or share fun activities.
  • Cultivate your communication skills and healthier ways of bonding with other people.
  • Participating in talks, workshops to improve emotional ties and overcome social fears. From public speaking to learning to communicate more assertively. Also reading personal development books.
  • Join the singles club and expand your network of friends.
  • Participate in social activities to help other people. It is advisable not to look only at the navel. We live with more people and in a world with various problems. To the best of your ability, provide your unconditional support.

And how do you manage your time?