In our day to day we face a multitude of situations that generate different feelings based on our previous experiences, personality, etc. We feel positive emotions, but also some that cause us discomfort. They are the second ones that take the most energy from us, since we tend to "break our heads" trying to find solutions to get rid of negative emotions.
To do this, we usually carry out a analytical reasoning based on a logical analysis of events. The problem is that this type of processing not always effective, sometimes you need a more complete understanding not only of the situation, but also of yourself.
Science has already demonstrated the close relationship between mental processes and those that occur in the body. Our mind gives, depending on the context, a series of orders directed to the organism so that it adapts to the situation we are experiencing. Physiological changes are then produced in the body, which we perceive as sensations.
An emotion can be composed of different sensations, for example: sadness could be experienced bodily with tension in the chest or throat; fear with agitation in the gut; joy with a feeling of warmth and general tingling; etc. In the face of negative emotions we usually start our analytical reasoning, looking for the logical sequence that leads us to the best solution.
However, it is sometimes more effective to implement a abstract reasoning, that can provide you with more relevant information about the problem. This kind of reasoning makes you connect with your intuition, that can appear mentally in the form of familiar images, symbols, or sensations, difficult to articulate with language.
Imagine, how you would react if your partner spoke badly to you in public. The usual thing is that unpleasant feelings appear, of anger, sadness, humiliation, etc. If you tried to feel better by carrying out analytical reasoning, you may begin to justify the reasons for your anger and based on that you will seek a solution “I was calm, I spoke well to him and he answered me badly. The fault is his, so either I ignore him, or I come talking badly to him ", or maybe you tried to understand the other person "He's having a bad day, his reaction hasn't been personal against me so I don't have to be angry".
None of these thought sequences are likely to make unpleasant emotions go away. You can work through the problem down to its last detail, but you still feel bad. Your head tells you that it already has the solution, but your body does not follow it, the feelings of discomfort are still there.
If on the contrary, you spend some time investigating yourself, You may perceive that the situation has caused you a feeling of emptiness, as if the hurtful words of your partner, because they have been repeated in other contexts with other people, have generated a hole inside you, which causes you helplessness and a feeling of feeling underrated. As a solution, you decide to talk about it, expressing to your partner what he makes you feel when he behaves like this and what you need. By identifying your feelings and the information they carry about you and your experiences, you can more easily connect with your true needs and consequently seek more effective solutions..
It is abstract reasoning is the one that usually costs us the most, because our society educates us to find logical explanations, and if they are fast best. But our feelings do not usually operate under mathematical laws, we are not machines and therefore in the problems that concern us, especially in those that hurt us the most, two and two are not always four. Sometimes we need to do a little introspection to see what is emotionally at stake for us.
As an example you could follow the following slogan, adapted from the technique of Focusing. It is about giving you an idea of how the process can be, since to get the most out of it it is recommended that, at least initially, it be guided by a professional in a therapeutic context. Anyway, you can make a first approximation to see what things come out or what aspects you become aware of..
Close your eyes and spend a few minutes relaxing your body, taking deep breaths. Now focus on your bodily sensations. If you feel tension in your stomach, imagine taking an inner trip to your gut. Enter it, as if you were entering a room and imagine that you have in front of you the problems that are generating this tension. Pictures, symbols or words may appear.
Focus on one, the one that has the most weight in your current discomfort. Give that image a name that perfectly matches your body feel. Be patient and always wait for the words to come from your guts and not from your head, for a moment silence the logical part of the mind. Then, as if you were a curious spectator, see if there is another one in its root under that image and give it a name again (nothing happens if no other image appears).
Now ask him questions and be patient to get the answer, remember that you have a curious attitude, like when you listen to someone and you don't know what they are going to say..
If the name that you have given to the image that appears is "knot" you can ask:
Why are you like this?
What is it that makes you turn that way?
What if you untangled?
What are you afraid of?
What are you trying to protect yourself from?
What would you need to feel more free?
What would you have to do to move more freely?
There are other techniques such as meditation or Mindfulness that focus on becoming aware of the body and stopping the more analytical processes that take place in the mind. Both types of reasoning are healthy and have their functionality, but we must avoid that it is only one that dominates our way of thinking and therefore of facing life and the problems that appear in it.. In flexibility is health.
Yet No Comments