It was exactly 2,000 years ago that the great Roman poet Ovid wrote what is perhaps his most emblematic book: The metamorphosis. This is a monumental work that tells the history of the world until then known. It also makes a long allusion to the goddess Envy (It should be noted that this reference is inspired by its Greek counterpart: Nemesis), and since then and forever this feeling is twinned with its complementary which is jealousy (Ptone).
Envy is also important for Christian belief - already as a feeling - because it is part of The 7 Deadly Sins, In other words, it is one of the vices that envious people can fall into. It is important to note that the word "capital" does not refer to the importance of these sins, but rather it means that these are the origin of the rest of human sins. Thus, envy is the mother of many more vices: jealousy, betrayal, dishonesty, injustice, etc..
Tracing the word etymologically, we can realize that it comes from the word blind which is composed of "in" which means "to put on" as well as "videre" which means "to look". Therefore, envy in essence is nothing more than "looking at something." However, it is not only about looking at something or someone, for envy to acquire its colloquial meaning it is necessary that it meets its most necessary requirement: that look on something or someone is usually malicious, jealous and hostile.
So, as you can see, envy is part of our repertoire as people, which is not necessarily something “bad”; even some anthropologists argue that this feeling can be on the right track and be positive for society because it provokes a struggle against conformity and causes us to seek higher goals through imitation of others. Taking this idea as true would mean that all people manage to improve ourselves in life through envy, particularly as part of a society.
However, on an individual level, it is more recurrent that when envy is felt, it remains in a stage of pure bitterness and bad blood. But, Why does a person envy? What is the mechanism that causes someone to feel uneasy about the well-being and triumphs -of any kind-, of other people?
Of course, and due to the complexity of each human being, there are multiple factors that cause the appearance of this feeling, but in this article I will limit myself to mentioning three of those that I consider most important..
First of all, perhaps the most obvious characteristic of this feeling is the incessant aspiration to have something that is not owned. And here the justification of self-motivation can enter for the envious person, since we all yearn for growth and evolution in our lives, which is achieved by aspiring to have; However, the matter takes a sudden change towards envy when that something that is not possessed is enjoyed by someone else or belongs to someone else.
So whoever wants to possess that which he lacks becomes frustrated and obsessed with the idea of owning it. Despite the above, this is where a paradox comes in, which is that for the envious person it is not bearable to accept that something that another person has and he does not want is desired, therefore he uses a defense mechanism demeriting what you intimately want.
By denouncing the object of desire (person, achievement or thing), he does not realize that in his eagerness not to appear petty - particularly in his eyes - he achieves exactly that. And since this attitude is not enough, then go to the second point.
And it has to do with this desire that I mentioned earlier, although not as aspiration but as hostility. Immediately after the envious person despises what he intimately desires but is scared to admit that it is, the cancerous idea appears that who does have it, lose it or, at least, stop enjoying it. This is where the considerate lies sin of envy. And because? Because when this thought appears, the envious person takes action.
Like the Shakespearean Iago whose potential to generate intrigue is uncovered when he is scorned in favor of Cassius for the promotion to lieutenant he desired, the envious person begins to weave a web of attitudes clearly and openly against the object of envy. He begins to murmur, to spread rumors, to raise false ones and to try to convince others that he is right in what he defends so much.
In most cases these attitudes take the virulent form of direct attacks. whose purpose is to disturb the tranquility, happiness or enjoyment of the object of your unattained desire. If the attacked person falls into the game, the envious gets the feeling of triumph that makes him feel better. The sad thing however, is that this is a pyrrhic victory, because since envy is similar to a bottomless sack, the more momentary pleasure is obtained then the more the envious will want, so he is never satisfied and that makes him remain in a state of permanent suffering.
And it is with respect to the above that I touch on the third point. The phrase attributed to Napoleon bonaparte about envy being an implicit declaration of inferiority, is correct enough in this case.
And this inferiority complex that flourishes in the envious person is sown in childhood. When the child begins to have the first social relations with his environment -family, friends, school-, it happens that sometimes he feels threatened with respect to losing what he has at the hands of others, and if he does not manage to adequately focus this feeling of unprotected about possession, grows lacking the confidence necessary to understand that all people have positive aspects that others do not have, which is absolutely normal and does not contain any danger for them.
If no one transmits or teaches him the confidence that comes from the understanding of knowing that no person is better than him for having something different, the child begins to feel that he is not good enough to have what the other has or to be like the other is, what triggers the feeling of inferiority and helplessness.
The way he reacts then is by disguising that idea of devastating inferiority through various mechanisms such as stark competitiveness, self-judgment, personal and interpersonal inflexibility and, of course, envy. It is not uncommon for envious people to have a great idea of themselves, even going beyond the limits of empathy, ethics and morality in order to maintain their fragile self-esteem in a safe harbor or, at least, known.
Or - worse yet - what to do if you are the envious one? These are very interesting questions. First of all you must be fully aware of something and that is there's no way to avoid being envied. Whatever you do, you can never stop that feeling from invading some of the people around you. Sometimes we will be participants in "white" envies that arose in a moment and will not be repeated, so we can move on with our lives with hardly any dent. But most of the time envy will show in its darkest part.
When this happens - you are a victim or an architect - it is convenient to detect the feeling as soon as it appears and one of the best ways to do it is by observing if said behavior I know repeat. This allows us to see if a precautionary measure needs to be taken in this regard..
Perhaps the healthiest of these measures is to show indifference to the envious person and their attitude, however sometimes we will be forced to send a clear and strong message in response of the type "You better stop your envy or you will have to pay consequences".
Whatever you choose, you must remain clear about something: envy does not refer to the shortcomings of the person who is the target, but speaks exclusively of the shortcomings of the one who envies. The truth is that an envious person is not capable of seeing in the other more than what is in himself. So the next time someone shows you envy or you feel envious, remember that that only says things about their personality, not your personality..
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