The Emperor Syndrome when the child imposes his law

Disrespect, insults and even physical violence are some of the behaviors that many children show towards their parents. In fact, in some families it seems that the roles are reversed and that it is the children who take the upper hand. Parents no longer have the authority to set rules or impose punishments, children have taken over.

Unfortunately, these behaviors not only deeply affect the dynamics of the family, but also create great pressure on parents who do not know how to deal with this problem and almost always end up submitting to the wishes of the child to prevent emotional outbursts..

In addition, the presence of parents is not even useful for children to be happy, because they end up developing what is known as the "Emperor Syndrome", which, as we will see, can have serious long-term consequences..

Contents

• What is Emperor Syndrome?
• Is the tyrant child born or made?
• How is the boy emperor?
• How to deal with a tyrant child?
• Basic rules to stop tyrannical behaviors

What is Emperor Syndrome?

Emperor Syndrome is a behavioral disorder that affects children and adolescents, and it begins at home. Basically, the child begins to defy his parents and, seeing that he gets his way, continues to defy other adults..

These kids feel like they have power. And indeed, it is true that they have the upper hand, either because their parents have granted them disproportionate privileges, because they have not been consistent in the imposition of rules at home or because they have not been able to cope in time with the first tantrums and child demands.

As a result, the child not only develops a demanding relationship with his parents, but is convinced that they must always be available to him. When they do not comply with their wishes, the little one gets angry and may make threats, insults or even physically attack their parents.

Is the tyrant child born or made?

The main characteristics that these children present are emotional insensitivity, little or no responsibility for their actions, difficulty in developing feelings of guilt, and lack of attachment to parents and other adults..

In general, parents tend to be blamed for this type of behavior for being too permissive and protective of their children, although the environment also influences due to the fact that today's children live in an individualistic, super consumerist society and where it prevails quick and easy material success above all else. On the other hand, it cannot be ruled out that there may be a genetic predisposition that could explain why within the same family, and under the same conditions, only one member is affected..

It has also been found that there is no defined pattern. Sometimes it is the little brother, sometimes it is the oldest, it can be an only child or an adopted child, there is no basic rule. Of course, it seems that it happens more among the upper and middle class and in boys than in girls, but girls are gaining ground.

How is the boy emperor?

Children with emperor syndrome dictate and order what is done in the family. They decide not only what they are going to do, but also what other family members have to do. The whole family dynamic revolves around his wishes, which are often the result of his whims of the moment.

Behind this behavior there are some problems:

1. Hedonism: The child is constantly seeking pleasure, has not developed a sense of duty and does not understand that sometimes he has to make sacrifices for others.

2. Great egocentricity: All children, when they are small, are egocentric. However, as they grow, they develop empathy and learn to put themselves in the other's shoes. Children with emperor syndrome show very few manifestations of empathy and feelings towards others.

3. Very low tolerance for frustration: These children have trouble regulating their feelings and emotions, so when their parents do not comply with their wishes, they usually experience enormous frustration that ultimately leads to an emotional outburst..

4. Great manipulation: Children with emperor syndrome do not always impose themselves by force, they often use sophisticated tactics of emotional manipulation, they know their parents' weaknesses very well, and they have no qualms about using them to their advantage..

5. Little sense of responsibility: These children are never willing to admit their mistakes, they will always blame others for not taking responsibility for their actions.

The main problem is that these children will face many problems later in life, but the world will not always be at their feet, just like their parents. Therefore, that selfishness, low tolerance for frustration and lack of social skills, end up taking a very high bill. Spoiled and bossy kids aren't happy kids, and they won't be happy adults either..

How to deal with a tyrant child?

Frustration is an essential feeling in the development of the child: children need, from when they are about a year old, clear routines, rules and limits about what they can and cannot do. In fact, one of his favorite sports is constantly testing his parents to see how far they can go..

When at the age of six they show themselves to be very impulsive children, who fight frequently, with attitudes of revenge and lack of empathy towards others, they seem insensitive, wanting to do evil just for their own sake and they feel powerful ... these are children tyrants. At eleven years of age, these signs can be significantly exacerbated and by the age of 15 they are practically impossible to manage..

And it is that educating is not easy, and must include certain doses of frustration to balance the infinite love we feel for our children. If the parents exercise their authority with affection and perseverance, the child's impulses to impose his will are mitigated. The problem comes if there is no reaction on the part of the parents, who, in their eagerness to find an explanation or excuse for their behavior ("the child has a lot of personality", "what he does is normal at his age" ...) dare to impose the necessary discipline. As the problem grows, there comes a point where the family feels it has gotten out of hand. What can we do then? Of course, it is not the best remedy to return to the authoritarian practices that were carried out in the past, but you do have to act with common sense, without exaggeration and without violence.

Basic rules to stop tyrannical behaviors

Here are some ideas to try to redirect tyrannical behavior, although in many cases external help is needed to do so effectively:

• Both parents must agree on how they want to educate their children, what will be their educational model and carry it out jointly, without cracks, because if there are any, the child will immediately take advantage of them.
• Parents must be able to admit that their child is a tyrant and not seek extenuating circumstances.
• Routine, routine and more routine. The child's day-to-day must be scheduled: times to eat, to go to sleep, homework ... He must also have a series of obligations at home, such as making the bed, setting and removing the table, etc. And very clear rules about your leisure time.
• Do not threaten. Threats transmit insecurity to a child and only increase their tendency to denial.
• Don't forbid everything after you have allowed everything. They cannot remove all privileges at once, it is better to act calmly, step by step and think before speaking.
• Do not catch up with the child: if he screams, kicks and makes a scene, we cannot respond with shouts or by giving in to his demands, we must breathe and let the crisis pass. The best thing is to wait for him to calm down without paying him the slightest attention.
• Stop giving endless explanations, the tyrant child does not use words. Instead of arguing, we must remind them of the rules we have set for ourselves and that it is their duty to respect them..
• Remember that miracles do not exist and education is a long-distance race. Most likely, we will not see immediate results, but as it grows, the child will successfully internalize our teachings, do not lose heart, the key is persistence.