Fear of getting old

Basil Manning
Fear of getting old

The human being was born to experience all ages, with their own special experiences. From birth until we grow old, we can choose to live joyfully or be miserable..

When the first symptoms of aging begin

It all starts on a day like any other in which you are walking down the street and suddenly a teenager asks you the time, addressing you as "ma'am." From that moment on, your life suffers an identity crisis because you had not assumed that you were getting older and precisely you had to be a teenager with a simple question who has opened your eyes to the reality that scares us so much: maturity.

The symptoms of aging seem to unfold as if our first stage of life had been filmed in slow motion and now they are in a hurry to finish. But women have an advantage over our mothers and grandmothers and this is that our generation has grown up with opportunities as if it were the sales season. Every day we have more opportunities in the world of work with excellent expectations similar to those that men could have. It seems at last that we have broken with the conventions and extreme machismo. Plastic and aesthetic surgery makes us mature much more receptive and the main thing, we have a decision about our life.

How many times have your mothers told you: Your generation is different, women already have control over their own lives!

And it's true, we decide if we want to have surgery on our breasts or take off the ugly holsters so that we can mature in a more attractive way; We decided to study because we want to cultivate ourselves intellectually and when we reach what we consider to be the beginning of maturity, we want to savor every little space of our life with vitality, for this reason we are not afraid of menopause or aging, because that path we hope to live fully choosing as the only one alternative possible health.

Some of the thoughts of mature women

  • Before I thought that turning 40 was already being mature and consequently getting old, now that I have them, I'm not so sure about it.
  • The arrival of menopause was like a second birth for me. I started enjoying sex for the first time because I no longer had to worry about a possible pregnancy.
  • Now I realize that life is lived too fast without time to learn everything it teaches us. Now with the beginning of this new stage in my life, every second, every moment that I live I savor it as if it were the last.

Unfortunately, not all women reach this stage with a clarity of ideas like the examples previously seen; others, on the contrary, live their maturity with fear and instead of experimenting and savoring, they hide under the shell lamenting how quickly everything has happened. They adjust to getting old and let the cells that make up their bodies crack and rust because they are just past forty. Crises follow one another: our older children come to burden us with their problems, then they abandon us, our partners will probably find other more desirable and beautiful women and they will also abandon us and we, where will we go now "old" and consequently , unattractive if all our lives we have used it to satisfy our environment? This type of negative thoughts blocks a correct vision of our possibilities and the little confidence in ourselves due to a lack of self-esteem clouds our own individuality..

We tend to succumb to anxiety and depression because they are labels that are part of our generation. Let's think about the amount of stress that is generated due to changes in self-image: gray hair appears, wrinkles around the eyes, our arms hang down, and our necks are no longer attractive. But let's think about what many women, and probably ourselves, have gained by turning forty: experience, elegance, attractiveness, intellectuality, and sensuality. 5 qualities that I think we should take into account when the only thing that worries us is the fateful figure to start a depression.

Around fifty, many women will feel energized to focus on the many benefits that the decades ahead have to offer. Thus, many will begin to fully realize themselves as women in any field in that period. The fifties have something symbolic because they somehow mark the middle of our existence since most people do not expect to live more than a century so the fifties are the turning point. We begin to think a lot about the past, reflecting on the meaning that our life has had after it. It is a period of meditation, of reencounter with our interior; If in middle age we suffered crises, now is the time to relive them again as if it were the difficult adolescence. In addition to this, our known environment also matures and death is closer, having to overcome on certain occasions periods of grief not previously experienced that cause us pain and restlessness. If we are also widowed, we will have to face ending the long journey alone and that is something that many of us fear because we did not know how to practice our own individuality in time. The ten types of loneliness that are related to this stage according to Lopata are:

1. Miss a specific person
2. Miss being loved
3. Missing the possibility of loving another
4. Miss a deep relationship
5. Miss having someone at home
6. Miss sharing tasks
7. Missing the way of life of married people
8. Miss the satisfaction of being accompanied
9. Having to intensify other relationships
10. Trouble making new friends

If you have reached the end of your marriage or relationship, you are alone and you are over forty years old and it is difficult for you to adapt to the fact of aging, I propose some measures to make the experience that you have to live more positive:

  • Don't judge your needs. That will not be a sign of weakness or lack of self-reliance. If you need to be accompanied, feel loved, do not hesitate to communicate, to interact with people your age and express that need as many times as you require. Obviously we do not need others as well as food to survive, but you must allow yourself to decide that you like being able to share with other people.
  • Do not repress the feelings of sadness that can invade you from time to time because if you get used to it you will repress those of joy that are so positive for your mind.
  • Accept to be who you are. Love your life and let it flow freely without putting brakes on it. It doesn't matter how old you are or how society pigeonholes you. Do not be prejudiced and you will be happier.

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