When an athlete faces a long-term test such as a Marathon, a triathlon, or an endurance test, he knows that moments of fatigue, pain, doubts, fears will come. Moments that are part of the essence of the test and that sometimes take over us, block us and prevent us from moving forward. And life is full of these moments that it turns out, they are also part of its essence.
Fatigue, pain, doubts or fear can be our great allies if we face them in a positive way, if we have a resource prepared and trained to face them, to stimulate our courage. And above all to grow as people.
The fact that these hard moments happen is something that we cannot control, they are situations that go with the competition, or with life. What we can control and train is our ability to face them and also come out stronger.
Here are some tips to train your resilience and advance on the path of growing as a person.
1.- Keep in mind the resource that works for you for difficult times. Turn to it in any situation that bothers you, that involves a feeling of harm, loss, threat, of greater or lesser magnitude and emotional impact. Here you calibrate and act. (See previous article How to discover your resilience)
2.- Use your empowering belief about adversity and act consistently with it every day. (See previous article How to discover your resilience). Check your daily consistency level with this belief.
3.- Write down the time you spend each day doing what makes you feel good, it's a way of generate self-esteem and self-confidence. You can write it down in 2 columns: what you do for yourself and what you do for others. Resilience arises and grows when we discover the strength that other people can give us, that they can become a fireproof engine. Spend time doing something for others every day. They can be things as simple as listening, thanking, accompanying, hugging, acknowledging, etc..
4.- Check your daily habits and question the balance between your work, your physical exercise, your nutrition and your rest (sleep). They are the four vital pillars for your well-being and happiness. They give order to your life and energy to think and act from serenity. All four are just as important when it comes to organizing our time each day and setting priorities..
Write down in a column the time you dedicate each day to work, physical exercise, nutrition and rest (sleep). Write down in another column the score (from 1 to 5) that you give to the quality-effectiveness of your work, exercise, food, rest.
Reflect on it and if you feel a certain imbalance, you can consider changes.
Starting from a good vital balance will make things easier for you if you want to become a more resilient person.
5.- Cultivate your flexibility and adaptability in the event of unforeseen events and unwanted situations: a traffic jam with the car, you are late for an event, an argument with your boss, a conflict at home ..., an upset with a colleague, etc..
What strategy do you adopt? What would happen if you approach them from flexibility and a sense of humor? How can you train that flexible approach?
1º- Smile, breathe and divert your attention to the horizon or the height. Focus on what has happened from a distance. Personally, it happens to me that a phrase comes up: “it's not that bad”, and from there another and another. And the thing softens.
2º.- Use a similar situation that happened to you or that you remember from a movie or someone you know, and that was solved. You will feel lightness and your pressure level will drop.
3º.- Think of a funny, positive, coherent character or person with a great sense of humor. How would you act in that situation? It will give you flexibility and smile.
6.- Smile as a habit; Just by outlining the smile gesture, our brain interprets it in a positive way and generates neurotransmitters for well-being such as endorphins. And from that well-being we generate clarity to think, focus on the situation and act. In a moment of fatigue, low spirits, confusion, smile.
7.- Explore your Control locus, this is the place where you locate your thoughts and actions.
People in whom an internal locus of control predominates interpret what happened as an effect to a greater or lesser extent of their own actions.
They value effort, skill and personal responsibility positively. They have the perception that they control their life themselves.
This leads them to seek solutions to improve, to move forward.
A resilient person never stops.
People in whom the external locus of control predominates attribute what happened to bad luck, fate, to other people. They delegate responsibility to others and little or nothing to themselves.
For example, you finish an exam, a project or a competition and the result is not what you expected. Who do you attribute what happened to:
"It was too difficult, I was unlucky, the teacher or my boss didn't explain it to me well, I had a bad day, the weather was bad ..." (the external predominates)
"Insufficient training, lack of attention to directions, not forecasting the weather" (the internal predominates). And this depends 100% on me, and, I can work on it to improve, to grow.
What role and part of responsibility do you have in what happens to you??
If you perceive low locus of internal control you can generate changes in your approach to what happened.
8.-. Share with others what happens to you from a positive belief about people.
The people around us are not idiots. Each of them has different abilities than ours. All people are complete, creative and resourceful beings.
To what extent do you share this statement? What is your belief about people?
What are people to you?
I would like to share with you a personal experience that made me discover inner strength and above all a why? An enormous strength that came from other people and that drove me to continue in one of the best triathlons in the world (Roth 2015).
Today is one of those days when the body does not respond, things go wrong, unforeseen events arise and you feel overwhelmed. However, the mind does not lose track and does not stop repeating to myself: "You can't, retire, you are not capable, today is not your day ..." And he says it so many times that I almost believe it.
I'm at kilometer 8 of a Marathon. A Marathon that in turn is within an Ironman. Which means that I have been hammering "you can't today" for about 6 hours. I have stopped at the aid station at kilometer 8. I have stopped to drink, eat and what had never happened to me before. I've stopped to think! ...
I look up and step out of the competitive stress that trapped me for a moment. Respite. Hanging from a tree I see a round, yellow and huge SMILE. I smile. Silence comes, the cursed voice has fallen silent.
My thoughts click: go little by little, forget the clock ... Another voice arises: “Ana, go ahead, today you can!!.
I smile, and my legs don't hurt so much anymore. I forget the stopwatch, and the stride is fluid. I smile, and beautiful images arrive, and with them positive thoughts. My children wait at the stadium. They don't care if Mom runs slower. They just want mom to come ...
I smile and feel strength, and serenity. The kilometers pass. I know I'm going to finish. This belief prompts me to keep going. The doubts and the inner game that tormented me have given way to security.
I enter the stadium. I see my children running. The last meters accompany me. The smile reaches its maximum splendor when we cross the finish line. It is the greatest victory. In that moment I discover my deepest motivation in those people for whom it is worth moving forward.
I found a "what for?", the real what for? That which impelled me to carry on from serenity and with extraordinary strength ... And the smile had a lot to do with it.
Ana Casares Polo www.anacasares.com info @actraining.es 628 438 130
Personal coach and coach
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