The psychological abuse It is a type of abuse that is characterized by the presence of actions and behaviors that can end up creating an emotional trauma in the victim. Despite not being as visible as physical abuse, its consequences are no less real: among the most common effects are anxiety, chronic depression, or post-traumatic stress disorder.
Also known as emotional abuse, psychological abuse is generally considered to occur almost always in situations where there is a power difference within a relationship. This can be of many different types, from the one that exists between a boss and his subordinates to the dynamic that occurs within a couple.
Among the actions carried out by those who use psychological abuse we find some such as bullying, gaslighting or denial of evidence, insults, disrespect and attempts to control. Sometimes this type of abuse is also accompanied by other purely physical attacks, although this is not something that always happens..
Psychological abuse is not as visible as physical abuse, but the negative consequences it causes in those who suffer it are also very real. Due to this, it is necessary to make the population aware of what behaviors are typical of this type of abuse, and what can be done when it appears.
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Behaviors related to psychological abuse are strikingly similar in all areas in which it occurs. However, in order to correctly identify this phenomenon, it is necessary to understand where it is most likely to occur and what forms it takes in each case..
Next we will see what are the main types of emotional abuse that exist depending on the area in which they appear.
It is known as family abuse all those continuous aggressions that occur within the scope of the family unit. This concept is very broad, and encompasses all abusive relationships that occur in this context, regardless of who both the aggressors and those attacked are..
Thus, within family psychological abuse we can find situations in which parents mentally abuse their children; but also others in which the aggressors are children, grandparents or any other member of the household.
Although there are more types of family abuse, in families emotional abuse usually occurs from parents to children due to the difference in power that exists between them. In this case, psychological abuse translates into a series of behaviors that can greatly damage the emotional, social, psychological and cognitive development of children.
There are different reasons why psychological abuse between parents and children can appear. Some parents do it because they have their own psychological problems. Others are simply reproducing the behavior patterns they observed in their own family members, or they simply do not have the necessary knowledge to act as good caregivers for their children..
In this area, psychological abuse translates into behaviors such as insults, disrespect, the presence of extremely strict rules, contempt and prohibitions of all kinds. Due to the importance that parents have in the development of children, this can cause very severe consequences in their lives.
One of the areas in which it is more common for cases of psychological abuse to occur is that of the partner. Despite the fact that physical violence is much more visible in this area, the truth is that most cases of abuse occur without physical aggression involved..
Many of the cases of abuse in the partner occur due to a series of irrational beliefs about partners and love. This often causes behaviors that end up causing psychological problems in the victims, such as insults, controlling behaviors, constant disparagements and disrespect.
Psychological abuse in the workplace is commonly known as mobbing. As in other areas, it can occur between people with different positions and roles within a company, such as between employees, or from a boss to his subordinates.
Emotional harassment at work is one of the main problems in today's world of work, since it can end up causing difficulties such as anxiety, stress, syndrome burnout and depression. In addition, it has been proven that it greatly reduces the quality of life of those affected.
The aggressor exercises a certain power over the victim, based on a supposed inequality where he is superior.
He uses phrases that devalue the victim, makes important decisions without consulting him, reminds him of all his mistakes, tells him that he knows how to do things better, or says things such as "this is so because I said so", he does not promise to do anything by the victim, forces him to have sex and is angry when the victim refuses.
It occurs when the abuser denies the presence or value of the victim. Tells you that she or he is inferior, devaluing your thoughts and feelings.
The aggressor ridicules the victim, using nicknames, imitations or other aggressive expressions. In this way, it diminishes the dignity of the other person, negatively affecting their sense of identity..
Yelling, obscene words, humiliation in public and the use of disqualifying adjectives are some of the expressions of this type of abuse..
Whoever abuses strictly controls the economic resources of the victim. He monitors his income, asks for explanations even for the smallest expenses, does not allow him to work, forces him to borrow, does not allow him to handle money, etc..
It is about ridiculing the beliefs of the victim.
Many times the aggressor forces her to accept hers as her own and does not allow her to act according to his ideals.
It happens when the aggressor prevents the victim from contacting friends and family, does not allow him to attend social activities, checks his messages and calls on the mobile phone, spies on conversations, etc..
To know if you are being a victim of psychological abuse, ask yourself if you feel that the aggressor shows the following signs / symptoms. Although it is usually more common from men to women, it also occurs from women to men.
Always try to know where you are, what you are doing and who you are with. It's like I want to manage every aspect of your life.
It does not take into account your opinions or how you feel when making decisions.
Psychological abusers often use this justification to manipulate the victim.
It is another form of justification. They try to convince the victim that only he will take care of her, so that he does not abandon him and can continue with his abusive behavior.
This is one of the worst acts of abusers. Some do it so that the victim's family or friends do not convince her that it is not convenient for her to be with the abuser.
Some abusers are jealous and also want to control the way their partners dress.
This is a consequence of the constant control that the abuser has over the victim..
Abusers do not usually esteem their partners, much less encourage them to achieve the goals they set for themselves.
The abuser often wants to feel superior to his partner. That your partner gains independence with a job can be threatening.
This is verbal violence and although it is not always linked to psychological abuse, sometimes it also occurs and can make the situation worse.
It is a specific form of control, another form of independence from the victim is eliminated
Threats can be in many forms and is another form of control.
Because abusive people often do not have a sense of responsibility, they may constantly blame their victims for their misfortunes..
Emotional blackmail is another form of control and can be very subtle.
A vital problem in psychological abuse is that victims often believe their partners when they tell them that they will change, although this is often not the case..
If you are not communicating with your partner because you fear that he will react violently, it is really worrying. Violent reactions can be a way to control the victim.
They try to make you see that if you show behavior they don't like, they will react negatively and unpleasantly.
In a situation of psychological abuse, it is normal for the mood to drop and the victim to lose interest in the things that previously interested him..
Victims of abuse may constantly feel a desire to get out and not go home, but they stay because they have no other choice or they have children..
Anxiety is a common symptom in victims. They become over-active due to the situation of violence that they live in their homes.
It is a consequence of anxiety. To sleep it is necessary to be relaxed and try to avoid worries.
Not valuing themselves is something common in battered people. They believe that because someone else does not value them they are not valuable in general.
Criticism can be good when it is constructive, although criticism from abusers is often hurtful, personal, and destructive..
It is one of the worst feelings to deal with that victims can have if they do not perceive that the abusers are trying to manipulate them in this way.
We have discussed the threats before, although this one deserves a separate section. Abusers can threaten suicide and in some cases they can follow through on what they say. You do not have to accept their mistreatment, and therefore it is important to ask for private professional help or social services.
Batterers, being controlling, are often also jealous and often there is no reason for it.
Some abusers may display provocative behavior with people of the opposite sex.
In order not to change the situation and to be able to continue controlling the victim, the abusers may categorically refuse to talk about the problems.
Sarcasm can be hurtful if it is directed at particular people and in psychological abuse it is usually like that. It is about saying something that is the opposite of reality.
Most abusers have low self-esteem and find it hurtful to laugh at themselves or when others do it..
Nicknames can be funny or loving, but others can be hurtful and mistreat the victim.
Does not respect your privacy and tells intimate things about the couple even to little-known people.
Whoever psychologically mistreats another person usually has the following characteristics:
If you feel identified with some or more of the situations described above, if you think that the profile of your aggressor and his attitudes coincide with the psychological abuse, then you cannot stay with your arms crossed.
Although the consequences of psychological abuse are not as visible as those of the physical, victims can suffer a series of very severe consequences that reduce their quality of life. For example, some of those affected see their self-esteem being completely destroyed, while their levels of self-criticism, sense of worthlessness and toxic guilt increase..
In fact, despite the fact that there are not many studies in this regard, those that do exist seem to indicate that the consequences of psychological abuse can be as severe or more than those of emotional abuse. In addition, because they are not so visible, it is much more complicated for those affected to avoid the most severe consequences.
If it lasts long enough, behaviors such as verbal abuse, name calling, criticism, and gaslighting victims' self-esteem decreases to the point where they are not able to see themselves rationally. As a consequence, the attacked begin to think that the aggressors are right, so they begin to criticize themselves too harshly.
Because of this, victims get trapped in abusive relationships, believing that they will not be able to find a better situation because they are not good enough for someone else. In addition, due to their low self-esteem, those affected by psychological abuse tend to isolate themselves from their healthy relationships, further worsening their quality of life.
In the most extreme cases, psychological abuse can lead to very serious problems such as depression, anxiety, or even post-traumatic stress disorder..
Overcoming a situation of psychological abuse can be extremely complicated, especially since victims are often not even aware of what is happening. Therefore, the first step to get out of a toxic relationship of this type is to recognize that you are immersed in a process of emotional abuse.
Once the person has detected that they are in a relationship with psychological abuse, it is necessary that they decide to make their physical and mental well-being a priority. For that, you have to be able to stop worrying about pleasing your abuser, something that can be very complicated; and go back to worrying about their needs, their self-esteem and their values.
Generally, the easiest way to deal with such a situation is to completely cut off the abusive relationship and allow the victim to spend time working on their own well-being. However, when this is not possible, establishing limits and rules in the relationship with the abuser may be sufficient..
On the other hand, victims of psychological abuse tend to blame themselves for the problems they are suffering, and believe that the abuse they suffer has to do with their own shortcomings as persons. To get out of such a situation, it is often very helpful to stop trying to worry about the abuser's feelings and to avoid trying to solve their problems as much as possible..
Finally, a tool that can greatly help victims of psychological abuse to get out of these types of situations is the creation of a support network that can help them see their situation in a more objective way. This network can be made up of family members, friends, or even an official support group, such as the one that occurs in a therapy context..
You are not by his side to educate him, so you must go. It is not easy, but you can follow these tips to feel better:
First of all and before talking about how to prevent situations of psychological abuse, it is necessary for the victim to understand that it is not their fault. The only culprit is the aggressor. The victim should not even blame himself for failing to avoid the situation.
It is important that not only the victims, but the entire society are clear about this concept, because the only way to prevent emotional abuse is for the entire society to be informed and understand that these situations are not acceptable.
It often happens that some victims of psychological abuse do not know that they are, because they think that in some way these attitudes are understandable or tolerable, because the aggressor "only has a bad temper, but deep down he is good to me" or because they simply believe that they are truly guilty of the other person's violent reactions.
When they realize they are being abused, the victim's self-confidence is often diminished and it can take a lot to get away from the situation.
To prevent abuse, it is also important to learn to know personal rights and have them respected without violating the rights of others..
This, together with an assertive communication style, are concepts that must be present in the education of children at home, to avoid psychological abuse in the future..
On the other hand, educational programs of information and teaching of values are necessary in schools, institutes and universities..
Finally, in some countries there are telephone numbers for information and requests for help in cases of abuse..
Filing a complaint for psychological abuse can be very complicated, since its consequences are not easily measurable or observable, as is the case in the case of physical abuse. As a result of this problem, victims often do not have any kind of official help to get out of the situation they are in..
However, in some specific areas, a greater awareness of psychological abuse and all the problems it can cause has begun to be generated. For example, within the area of education, a very exhaustive campaign has been carried out against bullying, which is nothing more than a form of emotional abuse typical of the classroom.
Something similar occurs in the workplace, where the prevention of mobbing is one of the most important priorities for most official bodies, unions and employee unions.
Even so, the visibility of psychological abuse is still very insufficient, and the fact of filing a complaint to solve it can be really complicated. Due to this, there is still much work to be done in this regard..
Actions and programs of the Government of Mexico.
Free information call to 155.
149/147: Phono Family of Carabineros de Chile.
Line 100.
National Domestic Violence Hotline by calling 1-800-799-7233 (press 2 for Spanish) or 1-800-787-3224 (TTY, for people with hearing disabilities).
-The scars of psychological cruelty can be as deep and long-lasting as the scars from punching or slapping but are often not as obvious. In fact, even through women who have experienced partner violence, half or more comment that the emotional abuse of the man is what causes him the most harm.-Lundy Bancroft.
-The only person who deserves a special place in your life is someone who never made you feel like you were an option in his.-Shanno L. Alder.
-Abusers feel a surge of power when they discover a weakness. They exploit it, using it to gain more power.-Christina Enevoldsen.
-Denying someone's feelings or experiences is denying their reality.-Danu Morrigan.
-It is not the bruises on the body that hurt. They are the scars of the heart and those of the mind.-Aisha Mirza.
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