Nothing makes us age faster than incessantly thinking about getting old (Georg Christoph Lichtenberg).
Not long ago, I heard a very close person talk about his greatest fear. What was my surprise to discover that it was none other than the fear of getting old. That person felt totally anguished when talking about the subject, he could not bear the idea of seeing himself one day in the mirror with his hair full of gray or his face wrinkled. It turns out that since he was 40 years old, he did nothing but think about the moment of getting older.
The testimony of this person made me reflect, and realize how the negative stereotypes towards old age they generate true phobias. Perhaps this person did not realize that that day would never come, there will not be a day when he looks in the mirror and suddenly everything has changed. Everything changes little by little, on the outside but also on the inside.
Our life expectancy is increasing and we all agree that this is a great achievement. However, at the same time, advertising campaigns send us continuous messages that idealize youth. They create positive stereotypes that associate this stage of life with beauty, activity, happiness, ... They offer us all kinds of products that hide the passing of the years: creams, make-up, cosmetic operations, ...
In contrast, the negative stereotypes that have developed towards old age, relating it to physical deterioration, illness, loneliness, sadness, ... hiding all the positive aspects of reaching this stage of life and fostering the fear of aging.
These stereotypes (both the positive ones associated with youth and the negative ones related to old age), have led to the appearance of fears and insecurities in some people in the face of getting older. Some of them even develop a true phobia of aging, which has been called gerascophobia.
As I have mentioned above, the stereotypes created around old age, which associate it with loneliness, illness and sadness, can awaken in some people fear of getting older.
Continually thinking about the future and the moment of entering old age, causes some people to feel real anguish and develop fears and insecurities.
Perhaps in some of these people, fear is related to seeing the years go by without having fulfilled those objectives that they had set.
The life cycle is made up of four stages (childhood, youth, adulthood and old age), which we all necessarily go through. Each of these stages has its positive and negative aspects, its advantages and disadvantages. None of them are better or worse, they are just different.
Although we all go through the same life stages, we are different from each other. In this way, we will live each stage in a particular way, both in relation to the physical state and the experiences lived. It is useless to compare ourselves with others. Living each stage in one way or another depends largely on us, on our attitude.
As I told you at the beginning of this post, the person I heard talk about his fear of getting old, was afraid of seeing himself in the mirror one day and realizing that he had grown older. With great probability that day will never come. The change we undergo, both physically and psychologically, does not take place abruptly, but rather we develop and grow as people, progressively passing from one life stage to another..
At present, within the field of psychology a technique called mindfulness, which we have already talked about in this blog. The main premise of this technique is the mindfulness and awareness. What does this mean? It refers to the process of paying attention to what is happening in the present moment, being aware of everything that happens without judging it.
Although it is a psychological technique or a scientific concept, we can also understand it (and in fact through its practice it ends up becoming it) as an attitude. An attitude towards life, always trying to stay in the here and now, without thinking excessively about the future (except in those cases that require it). Thinking about the future constantly makes us live in it, generating in us expectations about what is going to happen and anxiety in order to control it.
Why are some people afraid of getting old and not having met their goals? No matter the vital moment you are in, if something you like and passionate about, the moment is now. Pursuing what we like involves setting realistic goals and establishing short-term action plans aimed at achieving them.
If you feel that you are afraid of aging, reflect on your thoughts, and assess whether they are based on realities or created stereotypes. In old age you will be yourself, who will have grown and developed as a person.
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