What is love? Definition and Characteristics of this emotion

Love is probably the main source of pleasant and intense feelings, at the same time it makes us mobilize many actions and energies. It has evolutionary origins, and many theorists believe that love is based on the ancient circuitry developed to ensure that mammals reproduce and care for their offspring..

Definition of Love

Fischer, Shaver and Carnochan (1990), distinguish two kinds of love: passionate love (infatuation) and partner love (affection).

Sternberg (1988), there are usually not pure forms of love, but combinations of three elements:

• Intimacy, is the feeling of closeness, union and affection towards the other person.
• Passion: State of mental and physical excitement. True vehemence for the other person.
• Commitment: A relationship of companionship without intimacy or passion.

Love is not static, because each component has a different temporal evolution:

• Intimacy develops gradually as the relationship progresses. Growth is fastest during the early stages and then slows.
• The passion is intense at first, diminishes as the relationship progresses.

-  Commitment increases slowly at first, and stabilizes when a balance is reached in the relationship.

The three basic components of love configure the vertices of a triangle, which delimit the different possible combinations of love:

• Romantic love (intimacy, passion), Physical and emotional attraction, without commitment.
• Passionate love / obsessive love-infatuation (passion), Hatfield and Scratch: state of intense longing for union with the other. It is an emotion limited in time, more exactly a first phase in a relationship, which usually evolves into partner love..
• Companion love / true love-conjugal love (commitment, intimacy), Hatfield and Rapson: affection and tenderness for those with whom we live.
• Empty love (commitment), superficial relationship lacking passion and intimacy.
• Perfect love: intimacy, passion and commitment. Hard to reach.
• Fatuous love (passion and commitment), Relationship in which not enough time has passed for intimacy to emerge, even if there is commitment.
• Attachment between mother / child: close to partner love since it implies intimacy and commitment, but contains a certain passion on the part of the mother to protect her child.

Characteristics of love

Shaver and Hazan, romantic love could be conceived as affection.

Bartholomew, the loving styles of adults fall within one of these four patterns (depending on their self-image and the image of others).

Men and women with a positive self-image and a positive image of others: they may be able to care for others.

M / F with low self-esteem and a positive view of others, may be concerned with their intimate relationships.

M / F with low self-esteem and negative image of others, may be fearful of approaching others.

H / M with high self-esteem and negative image of others may reject or separate from others.

Reik (1949): Individuals with low self-esteem, dependent and insecure, they are easier prey of passionate love

Activation in love

Subjective effects of love

-  In passion: extremely intense and overflowing feeling, associated with a mental dullness, great euphoria and uncontrollable desire to be with the other person. Feeling of vitality and energy, and idealization of the loved one.

-  In privacy: Communication and emotional and personal closeness.

-  In commitment: Feelings of strong relationship, acceptance of the other and capacity for sacrifice.

- Attachment: Proximity and well-being with the person responsible for it and the separation produces "separation anxiety".

Physiological activation

A hormone, oxytocin, has been identified that appears to promote affectionate, close and intimate bonds and sexual and reproductive behaviors.

Bloch, and others argue that passionate love (eroticism) and partner love (tenderness) are associated with different patterns of breathing and sounds:

• Eroticism: uniform breathing pattern that increases in frequency and amplitude depending on the intensity of the emotional commitment, inspiration is through the mouth, the muscles are relaxed and the eyes are semi-closed.
• Tenderness: The breathing pattern is low frequency with a uniform and regular rhythm, the mouth is semi-closed, lips relaxed with a slight smile, muscles and eyes open and relaxed, the head slightly tilted to one side..

Facial expression of love

It is speculated that when a person is in love, they take on an expression similar to that expressed by mothers when they are happy tenderly looking at their children, that is, looking down, with a slight smile and in a playful atmosphere.

Measure of love

Different scales have been used to measure love:

-  Passionate love scale, to assess the cognitive, physiological and behavioral indicators of love.

-  The subjective evaluations of people, to measure the love of colleagues.

-  Love scale in children.

Consequences of love

People in love can present 6 kinds of rewards:

Moments of exhilaration: Moments of passionate blindness, euphoria, excitement, and satisfaction.

Feelings of over-understanding and acceptance: Loved people feel understood, loved and accepted.

Share a feeling of togetherness with your loved one.

Feelings of security and of being safe when being with the loved one.

Transcendence of its previous limitations.

Beneficial effects on the immune system of people in love and reciprocated.

Many studies show that various positive emotions such as laughter, erotic arousal or general arousal, can intensify passion.

When the establishment of a relationship fails or the relationship breaks down, people's self-esteem deteriorates, they feel lonely and miserable, and they are even more vulnerable to a wide range of illnesses..