What is the law of the victim? Are we acting with victimhood?

At certain moments in our lives, all of us have felt: hurt, hurt, offended, intimidated or harassed by a certain situation, which is inherent to the human condition. We respond according to the perception we have of the facts, according to the information that exists in our unconscious and what we capture with the senses. Hence, we experience different types of interpretations and emotions regarding the same fact, word or circumstance. However, when a person stops learning, recognizing and / or understanding the teaching that a painful event shows in this school called “life”, they may become trapped and a prisoner of their emotions; presenting an imbalance in determining aspects of its existence. Such is the case of beings who are anchored to sadness, resentment or suffering, these people acquire a behavior of victimhood. They are people who constantly feel like "poor me." These individuals identify with a phrase or question that is frequently asked: Why is this happening to me??

Victimism is the behavior that a person acquires unconsciously

... because within her limbic brain a sadness and / or suffered anger is imprisoned, unrecognized emotions that make these beings attract situations that lead her to express those hidden sensations. It is the way the unconscious mind protects the person to avoid danger - our brain interprets pain as a threat - or a greater evil. These emotions are projected in the form of difficulties and thus, in this way, the individual manifests sadness and / or anger, however, by not doing it consciously, healing does not occur and continues in the repetition of this type of events.

Victimism indicates suffering

Acquiring a victimhood behavior is synonymous with suffering, it is one of the main obstacles in personal development, in assertive communication, the achievement of goals and dreams; in the same way, the person stops learning from himself and others, from his mistakes and heals.

This attitude usually involves an unconscious process that begins with provocation, then dispute or suffering, and finally claim or complaint..

Let's look at the process:

1. The victim's behavior begins by unconsciously attracting, of course; Contexts for complaining and lamenting are individuals who are obsessed with finding the dark, negative, tragic, dire or suspicious side of any situation. They seek in every situation to be able to express pain, and, in fact, they get hurt; this is what is called, provocation, it is at this stage where it expresses the hidden sadness.

2. In this stage, he looks for the guilty, takes offense and / or hurts himself in "self-defense", rejoices by recounting his suffering, gets accomplices of his suffering, or keeps quiet, expressing his pain on his face. That is, the victim usually has a passive or active attitude; the first occurs when she submits, lowers her head and justifies the offender, a typical behavior of the abused woman; the second, when he confronts the offender from his strong point, directly or indirectly. It is direct in the case of verbal aggressors or, in fact, like the abusive man and it is indirect, when he chooses to defame, concocts, betrays, etc. In this stage of suffering, sadness and anger continue to emanate.

3. Then look up the dispute. In this part of the process, the victim claims or complains about the events, as long as they are not passive. This is the stage where he lets out his hidden anger. He usually takes refuge in his wounds to generate pity and avoid recognizing his behavior, with this attitude he continues to overlap his true emotions. In cases of passive attitude it is accompanied by childish behavior, supposed weakness.

Origin and types of victimhood

Victim behavior arises in various orders of life; it goes from the private, family, work to social. Such conduct is awarded and "valued" in different areas. From a very young age we are educated under their approval, in such a way that there is a great impediment to identify it as an obstacle in adequate human development. Social victimhood is used as a political campaign flag by certain rulers, abusive businessmen and even any ordinary citizen to wash away their guilt, win public admiration or generate followers. Now, let it be clear that it is not about stopping helping, which is a human virtue, but about the intention of giving help and the use of manipulation, both of the victim and of the assisting.

An example of social victimhood, we have it in the case of a woman who broke her leg and the government began to give her deserved help, since she was unable to work and was also the mother head of the family of three children; Well, the woman has been wearing an orthopedic device for six years and indeed when she goes to the doctor, he certifies that she still needs the device. She unconsciously does not want to heal, since this represents the suspension of financial aid; In this situation, the woman's victimhood is to her own detriment and affects the esteem of her children. This is a woman with an immature (passive) attitude, presumably with a hidden sadness in relation to the father, since the state represents this archetype.

In family victimization we have the case of a young woman who lived with her mother, she was about 23 years old; The two women lived in constant dispute, they hurt each other through insults and injuries; One of the reasons was that the mother entered without knocking on the door of the daughter's room and this caused the young woman great annoyance, however, the mother justified herself by saying that it was her house and she could enter without asking permission; constituting the matter in an unfortunate and recurring lawsuit. They had been immersed in the same confrontational theme for years. The daughter even left home, but soon she returned and they returned to the same dispute; The most surprising thing was that the daughter, knowing the behavior of the mother and the anger that it generated, never locked the door; which would have represented the end of the conflict. Nevertheless, the two seemed to need the dispute; evidencing victimhood. Both women are full of rage, each one finds in the other the best opponent to get rid of it, possibly united by the same anger towards the figure of "the mother".

Let's see now, some suggestions to overcome this behavior:

1. Identify who flaunts victimhood. At this point and with all the above, it is easy to recognize if you have said behavior.

2. Search for the emotion of sadness, anger and / or rage that is hidden in the unconscious and that from there projects situations to be healed. Our unconscious brings the situations we need, it is as if we were looking outside the representations of the images of the emotions that are in that mind. This is the reason why scenes of pain continue to be repeated, they need to be healed to free us, since, if they continue there, they are a danger to our subsistence, which is the function of the unconscious, to protect us..

3. Go to or seek professional help when it is detected that by yourself you are unable to reveal the information that is hidden in the unconscious and that continues to be projected into your external world.

Victimism represents a danger to the unconscious because, if the person does not manage to solve the hidden pain, it can generate a serious illness or a miserable life. Hence, we need to be attentive to our behaviors to identify if we are acting with victimhood.