Knowing how a narcissist thinks can help you understand their behaviors a little better, although this does not mean that you have to like them of course..
Anyone who has been associated with a narcissist will have found that they see themselves in a somewhat "special" way compared to others, making those around them feel much less valued..
Narcissists victimize and belittle those around them simply because they are like that, which is something that, of course, they are not going to change. This statement may seem exaggerated, until you hear the stories of those who have been victimized by a narcissist. Then you realize how toxic these people can be.
And it is that narcissists consider themselves so special that no one else matters. No one.
Today we offer you a compilation of the main dysfunctional beliefs of an eminently narcissistic mentality compiled by the specialist in behavior analysis and former FBI agent, Joe Navarro. Keep in mind that these thoughts and behaviors would define a person with an extremely high level of narcissism, but that there may be different degrees of personality:
1. I love myself, and I know that you love me too. In fact, everyone does. I can't imagine anyone not doing it.
2. I have no need to apologize. You, however, must understand, accept and tolerate me no matter what I do or say..
3. There are few like me in this world, and so far, I have yet to find any. I am the best (manager, businessman, lover, student, etc.).
4. Most people don't measure up to me. They need me to lead, others don't know how to do it as well as I do.
5. I understand that there are rules and obligations, but they apply mainly to others, because I do not have the time or the intention to comply with them. Also, the rules are for normal people, and I'm way above average.
6. I hope you appreciate all that I am and all that I have achieved for you, because I am wonderful and flawless.
7. I wish we could be the same, but we are not and never will be. I will remind you often that I am the smartest person in the room, as well as how well I did in school, in business, as a parent, etc., and you should be grateful..
8. I may seem arrogant, but I don't care. I just don't want to be seen the way you are.
9. I expect you to be loyal to me at all times, no matter what I do. However, don't expect me to be loyal to you at any time.
10. I will criticize you, and I hope you accept it, but if you criticize me, especially in public, I will come to you with all my rage. One more thing: I will never forget or forgive, and I will return it to you one way or another, because I am a "collector of wounds".
11. I hope you always keep in mind all that I have achieved and what I have to say. I, on the other hand, am not interested in you or what you have accomplished, so don't expect much curiosity or interest from me about your life. I just don't care.
12. I am not manipulative, I just like to do things my way, no matter how much it annoys others or how it makes them feel. I don't really care how others feel, feelings are for the weak.
13. I expect the gratitude of others at all times, even for the smallest things I do. As for you, I hope you do what I ask of you.
14. I only hang out with the best people, and frankly most of your friends are not up to the task..
15. If you just did what I say and obey, things would be better.
As you can see, it is not easy to live or work with someone who thinks and behaves this way. The experience of people who deal with narcissists know that they constantly overvalue themselves and systematically devalue others. If we work with someone like this, we must bear in mind that we will never be treated as an equal, we will not be respected, and they will devalue us in order to overvalue themselves.
It may interest you: Narcissistic personality, how is it different from egocentricity?