On some occasions, the breakup is the best solution in the couple and if it is dissolved in a consensual way it can lead to a better relationship between the spouses and an absence of discussions, thus causing a good feeling between them and a partner. personal growth.
But there are many couples who, when they separate, have constant confrontations and are dedicated to speaking badly about each other. Not coping well with the separation and taking it in an immature way, makes them tend to speak disparagingly of the other parent in front of their children, sometimes entering a battle to feel that the children are on one side or another..
Other times, you put a lot of impediments or you try to spoil the child having a good time with the other parent. When all this happens, a anxious environment affecting the child, Because parents are so focused on their own emotional states and their own needs that they are unable to respond to the child's demands, this causes parents to be less affectionate for a period of time, inconsistent and lacking in control about their children, all this results in a lack of family support for the minor.
If a child hears the other parent insulted or put down, if they are constantly mentioned relationship problems that have nothing to do with the parental bond, if there is mockery for showing feelings towards the other parent or if they perceive that there is annoyance for loving have fun with the other, this can lead according to Doctor Gardner, in a parental alienation syndrome. Although this concept has not been accepted in the psychiatric manual, it cannot be denied that after trying to put the child against one of the parents, the child's separation occurs on certain occasions..
When this disconnection occurs, the child tends to show distrust of one of his parents, questioning what he says or does. On the other hand, it tends to fall into constant disqualifications and cruel behavior with it without feeling any guilt. Finally, it may also show hostility towards the family of one of the parent affected by the disengagement.
In this case the alienating (the parent who manipulates against the former spouse) knows what the consequences are for the former partner and the main reason is causing harm. But there is also another victim of all this that is damaged, the child himself.
Anxiety, stress, sleep disturbance, loss of appetite and increased aggressive behavior are the most common symptoms detected in minors living in these situations.
- Try not to speak ill of the other parent in the presence of your child.
- Think above all about the well-being of the little one.
- Do not take away the right of the child to enjoy his other parent.
- Do not reward derogatory attitudes towards your ex partner, whether they come from the child or someone else.
- Do not avoid talking about the separation, answer all the doubts that the minor may have in the most serene way possible, without going into unnecessary details.
- Consistent reasoning must be done to convince the child that separation is better than maintaining a negative climate at home.
- Be honest and sincere with minors, it is positive for them to know that a relationship full of discussions and disagreements should not continue for the general good..
- Make children see that separation is a matter for adults, that their parents will always be with them to care for and love them.
- If we believe that the situation is over us and that we cannot or do not know how to handle it properly, the figure of a mediator, in this case a psychologist, is essential.
Any separation is complicated and it takes time to heal from it, but we must ensure the common welfare and especially that of the children. For this reason, it is positive to keep children out of adult problems, especially when these concern exclusively the couple and not the minor.
REFERENCES
Bengoechea, P. (1992). An exploratory analysis of the possible effects of divorce in the children. Psicothema, vol. 4 (2), pp. 491-551.
Riquelme, M. (2005). The child of separated parents. Comprehensive Pediatrics, vol. 9 (9), 673-680.
Tender, B (2009). Prevent and minimize Parental Alienation Syndrome. Article http://cluboptimistavital.com/index.php/actualidad/articulos/1073-prevenir-y-minimizar-el-sindrome-de-alienacion-parental
Péreza, O (2012). What is SAP and how to save your children?. Article http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/06/03/sindrome-alienacion-parental sap_n_1566176.html
Yet No Comments