About what is up to us and what is not

Of all the things in the world, there are some that depend on us and some do not. Our opinions, our movements, our desires, our inclinations, our aversions depend on us; in short, all our thoughts and actions.

The things that do not depend on us are the body, goods, destiny, other living beings - which includes what they think and how they act.
Everything in our hands is free by nature since there is nothing that can manipulate, hinder or stop it. Who is able to control what happens inside our head? Who, beyond each one of us, can decide what we want to think about and what we don't? How do we want to act or how do we want to stop acting? Although we can be influenced, the final decision is made by our head.

Now, everything alien to us is volatile and unpredictable, uncontrollable, dependent on a thousand and one factors, obstacles and inconveniences. What else can we get - other than grief, distress, and upset - from trying to control what is not under our control?

So let us not take as our own that which comes from outside our sphere. Is it up to us to be invited to a party? Is it up to us to get the first prize? Is it up to us to be hired in a job? Is it up to us if someone gets angry? Is it up to us that our partner does not love us or wants to end the relationship? Is it up to us if someone doesn't show up for a date?

We can exert an influence with our actions, of course, but there can be so many factors that intervene in the decision-making of others, that we would only go crazy if we tried to take them all into account (although we would always leave some) and draw a conclusion from why have they done it.

The only thing we can do - since, as we said at the beginning, that depends on us - is to point our thoughts and actions in the direction we want; once the ship has been headed towards the desired destination, whether it is sunny or stormy, swell or flat sea, the north wind blows or the south wind blows, it is no longer in our hands.

In the same way that the good sailor redirects the ship according to the weather conditions and makes decisions on the fly without thinking that fortune has purposely wanted to annoy him, let us consider the situations that happen to us in the same way. Let's dedicate our energies to learning how to take the boat through the different winds and waves instead of pretending to dominate when the sun has to rise or when it has to rain.