Overvaluing children, beneficial or dangerous?

3460
Sherman Hoover
Overvaluing children, beneficial or dangerous?

These days we have been surprised by the case of Rudolph “Blaze” Ingram, a 7-year-old boy who is not only compared to the winner of innumerable speed records Usain Bolt, but they even talk that it could endanger his sporting reign . A little boy with more than 400,000 followers on Instagram and who no longer doubts about being portrayed on the networks showing off his marvelous abdominal, as well as the finger in a gesture indicating that "he is number one".

Contents

  • Children, a reflection of their parents' dreams
  • My son is the best
  • The danger of developing a narcissistic personality disorder
  • Growing up with a narcissistic personality
    • Conclusions
    • References

Children, a reflection of their parents' dreams

Is a 7-year-old ready for fame? Obviously not. If it is difficult for an adult to manage fame, being famous at any age, at the age of seven, is extremely dangerous for him to acquire in his mind the idea of ​​"I am the best".

There is undoubtedly an important point in which some parents encourage their child to practice any extra activity within their integral education and, quite another, in which we seek through our children to achieve dreams unfulfilled by us, frustrations or in some cases, a financial gain and fame.

Are parents putting the same interest in a 7-year-old boy becoming a great sports champion than not failing in his studies? Surely not, since the vast majority of this type of children with such an early fame , the future is still broken toys involved in all kinds of psychological disorders and / or addictions lacking in values ​​and an adequate maturation in their cognitive formation.

My son is the best

There are very few parents who do not think of their child as "the most handsome", "the most intelligent", "the one who best speaks the language", "the one who best play a certain sport ", if we subtract from that the children who will never be" photographic models ", those who will never" be singers ", those who will never be" actresses or actors ", those who will never be" concert performers ", despite providing them a childhood of hard training thinking that what was a "rare jewel", in the end, did not stop being a normal girl.

An article titled "Threatened egotism, narcissism, self-esteem, and direct and displaced aggression: does self-love or self-hate lead to violence?" from the Faculty of Psychology of the University of Iowa, concludes that parents in their education model, think that overvaluing their children is a way to raise their self-esteem, although the risk that is run is to produce an elevation of the levels of narcissism if we exceed the correct levels.

The danger of developing a narcissistic personality disorder

The idea of ​​many parents of being before children “more special” than the rest, would bring them closer to the narcissistic personality disorder in which problems of frustration, lack of self-confidence and self-esteem problems are the general trend. Children raised in an environment of self-esteem and normality in comparisons with other children, showed a better idea of ​​themselves and self-confidence. Children with high self-esteem think that they are as good as others, while narcissists will always have an image of superiority over others that leads directly to suffering and permanent questioning with high degrees of dissatisfaction.

It is true that the genetics and temperamental traits of the child himself can lead us to a narcissistic personality, but if the education and treatment received by the parents reinforce this tendency, we will be reinforcing them for a self-image based on the idea of ​​"I am superior to the rest" that can alter their psychological development and maturation typical of a child.

Growing up with a narcissistic personality

Along the same lines, a study entitled "Origins of narcissism in children" from Princeton University is shown, which shows us a clear idea: the type of education based on the idea of ​​parents that their children are better than other children, It hurts them by increasing the risk of turning them into narcissists by lowering their self-esteem. This study concludes that what parents should do to enhance children's self-esteem is to make them feel loved and not instill in them ideas of superiority over others.

Making them grow in self-esteem implies that parents increase their confidence in themselves. It is essential to educate them on the possibility of a mistake or failure, giving them enough confidence and esteem so that they are able to overcome and try again.

While a narcissistic child will never contemplate error as a possible option, the child with high self-esteem will understand it as one more element of life, which can provide us with a teaching that makes him understand that it is not the end of anything, but the beginning of a new path.

In the same way, criticism is often the touchstone for narcissistic personalities. It is in the mirror of parents, where children see how they are able to accept criticism doing so constructively or with violence. Closing ourselves to options other than our own is closing ourselves to changes, accustoming children to cognitive closure instead of reflective openness where we may not be perfect or superior to the rest.

The study entitled "Reply to Kealy et al .: Theoretical precision in the study of narcissism and its origins" is undoubtedly clarifying when stating that narcissism predicts significant imbalances, ranging from aggression, violence and crime, to anxiety, depression and addictions. Subclinical narcissism, which may begin in childhood, may develop into a narcissistic personality disorder, with a generalized pattern of grandiosity, a need for admiration, and a lack of empathy..

Conclusions

The education provided by the parents has a direct impact on the socialization process of the children. Parents' overestimation of children predicts narcissism, while warmth, affection, and support will predict high self-esteem. Narcissism implies unhealthy feelings of superiority, while an education in values ​​will allow us not to find ourselves tomorrow with a successful “broken toy”, surely as a celebrity, but a failure as a human being..

References

  • Bushman, B. and Baumeister, R. (1998). Threatened egotism, narcissism, self-esteem, and direct and displaced aggression: Does self-love or self-hate lead to violence ?. Journal of Personality and social Psychology. 75 (1): 219-229.
  • Brummelman, E., Thomaes, S., Nelemans, S., Orobio de Castro, B., Overbeek, G. and Bushman, B. (2015). Origins of narcissism in children. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences of the United States of America. 112 (12): 3659-62.
  • Brummelman, E., Sander, T., Stefanie, N., Orobio de Castro, B., Geertjan, O. and Bushman, B. (2015). Reply to Kealy et al .: Theoretical precision in the study of narcissism and its origins. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences of the United States of America. 112 (23).

Yet No Comments