People with an obsessive personality tend to live trapped in detail, in practically absent interpersonal relationships and, above all, prisoners of themselves. As with other personality disorders, its pattern of behaviors extends to all areas. Paraphrasing Theodore Millon, it could be said that they are people capable of seeing the brush strokes, but they are incapable of seeing the whole painting.
In the workplace they are perfectionist, thorough and hardworking people. They consider it an essential part of their person and integrate it as a moral value that should govern their life and that of others. The problems come when perfection and completeness absorb the objective of the task and the need to feel like a competent worker absorbs the rest of the activities..
There are many people with obsessive personality who have great success in their work, usually at the cost of totally sacrificing their personal life, which does not mean that in all cases these people have not started a family.
As subordinates they are usually correct and accept orders that come from above. They may seem like they do it with pleasure, but they live between their true feelings, such as anger, and the adequacy they display and watch tirelessly..
If we focus from the psychoanalysis we could say that the obsessive personality has a Super me (The one who controls us through social, cultural, moral norms ...) so strong that his It (from which the most authentic unconscious impulses arise) lives chained in a tower, in the middle of the ocean, under the sea. However, sometimes he escapes and as a song said "he does it with a backward hunger", then the explosion of rage is assured.
As bosses they can be torture for their subordinates. Nobody does anything well enough. They do not allow deviation from what they consider appropriate, but their standards are impossible to meet, as their perfection loop is always in an upward progression. They may see that there are other vital goals, but they consider them inappropriate and punish them. They can receive many complaints from the people in their charge, to which they usually respond "what they don't want is to do their job".
At the family level they tend to be distant people. One of the criteria offered by the DSM IV (diagnostic manual par excellence to evaluate different types of disorders) is that they are racane people, this racanity should not only be interpreted on a material level, but also on an emotional level.
They tend not to give too much affection to loved ones. In reality, many confuse love with recognition. During his childhood both concepts merged into one, since his parents withdrew affection from the child when he did not meet expectations. This pattern is perpetuated, since it was introduced as its own scheme.
The relationship with your partner is lacking in spontaneity Can you imagine this person giving a passionate kiss in the middle of a street? The answer is usually no. They constantly behave following a protocol that hinders intimacy and creates an insurmountable distance in their relationships.
Likewise, they are very strict with their "basic rules" and this causes the other person to either become an extension of their will, or end up abandoning the situation. Even when they are in a "permitted" environment, they are not usually passionate or uninhibited, an inner voice tells them "do not overdo it, do not cross the line of what is appropriate".
This situation usually generates frequent conflicts and a lot of dissatisfaction from the couple. It is important to understand that the person with an obsessive personality struggles to adapt to what is expected of him, so in this situation he is trapped between what his partner expects and cannot give and what he has been taught and has developed. his life and that is broken when trying to satisfy the first. Faced with this situation, they will tend to rationalize the situation, an antagonistic mechanism of connecting with emotions.
In relation to their children, they usually repeat the type of education that they received themselves. Things are either black or white, every action must have its consequence. They usually have misaligned expectations about what their children should do, they do not respect developmental moments and punish actions that fall within the norm. They expect their children to know what is appropriate and if they are not being punished materially or emotionally.
If your partner disagrees with your way of educating, your partner's attempts to create a common front, with consensual guidelines, will be frustrated. There will then be a situation in which it is easy for the children to create alliances with the partner at the expense of the person with an obsessive personality or against him.
Children can also serve as a throwing weapon against the spouse through subtle acts and promptings. If we stand from the systemic model, there is a breakdown in the structure of the system, creating an ambivalence in the way in which the children believe they should behave, a very stressful situation for them, whose reference figures can become polarized.
These types of people are often unaware of their own suffering, since the emotions are totally repressed. However, they present multitude of somatizations such as headaches and stomachaches. They are a risk group for cardiovascular accidents when hostility is added to the above and they are prone to chronic stress.
If we put the pieces of the puzzle together, we see a person who is emotionally repressed and unable to express his true wishes, since the rules have been watching over them. Obsessed with being a model worker, he has a strained relationship with his peers and subordinates and a facade with his superiors..
In the sentimental plane He is unable to express spontaneous affection and finds himself trapped in a situation in which it is impossible to adapt to conflicting demands. In the parental plane, they do not create a true bond with their children, rather a formal relationship.
All of this leads to losing relationships and not being able to meet your expectations for perfection. You are a person prone to falling ill and having psychological disorders, as the depression, or panic disorders that you are rarely aware of or that you suffer from rationalizing as part of your imperfection.
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