After observing day after day how they try to equate happiness with success, I have found myself in the need to write on the subject to try to separate these two concepts.
Many times we set goals and objectives in life with the hope that when we achieve them, that much desired feeling of completeness will appear..
We condition our happiness to external success that most of the time is not even 100% dependent on us. And that is why if we do not manage to achieve it we are frustrated, unhappy and dissatisfied ... we extrapolate that small failure to the rest of our life areas, and we contaminate all our day to day with the feeling of defeat and unhappiness.
The other assumption is that we finally achieve the long-awaited goal after sacrifice and effort, but surprisingly we do not find that feeling of fulfillment and happiness (or if we do find it, it is something temporary), with which we will seek a new goal, thus entering the dynamic so current of "always more" and "never enough". In this way we condition our well-being to something outside, continuously changing this object.
Well, the truth is that the happiness Fortunately, it is in our power and it depends on ourselves., it's totally internal. Let's stop to think and feel, to separate ourselves from all the conditions that we are taking from the environment, and look for a deeper look to discover that this feeling of well-being can be achieved day by day, whatever we do, and regardless of what we achieve. external eyes.
It's about setting happiness as your own goal, not perfection, because this is something impossible to achieve and that even in spite of it throws us towards self-criticism and demand constantly. It seems something abstract and difficult to put into practice, but it is as simple as orienting ourselves in the present, where we can act, and not so much in a future that we can neither know nor control, or in a past that is unchangeable.
"Let's take care" in the present of that future that we so desire, but let's not "worry" about it.
We have the strength to assume, accept and internalize our failures to learn from them. We are able to persist and overcome adversity, thus charging ourselves with self-confidence. The best ideas come from mistakes ... and what are we but a lucky mistake of nature? It is not about stopping erring, but about failing better.
We should know forgive and forgive us, making peace with the wounds of the past.
Well, what is not shared does not evolve or grow. All the positive feelings that are shared become greater and are contagious, and the negative emotions lose their intensity when they come out through the word.
Since we were little we are loaded with precepts that we are supposed to comply with. It is in our power to make them ours or let go of them to find what is really important for each one, and not for others.. It is the sincerity and coherence with one that will make us feel satisfied and full.
The way we cope with life is proven to change our genes and have a huge impact on our health. Just by thinking about the negative and worrying we make the whole body respond as if it were real, because the mind does not discriminate or make a distinction, all thoughts treat it in the same way (be it real or imaginary).
Conversely, when we think positively and what we want we can modify our brain and increase well-being. One way to encourage this to our benefit is to pay more attention to external stimuli that are consistent with our internal goals..
On many occasions we do not have the option of influencing the results that are presented to us on a day-to-day basis, but we can change the way we see the situation, accepting it, adapting ourselves to the environment and learning.
Happiness is not the circumstances that we are given or what happens to us, but how we interpret it or what we do with what we have. It's about loving what you do.
Many times we understand happiness when we look back, but it is only in the present where happiness lives. Let's perfect the technique of being in the here and now to realize at the moment when we are feeling joy and happiness even in the most unlikely and fleeting moments. In this way we can enjoy them and squeeze them to the fullest before they pass and we regret not having known how to value them.
There are different ways to practice being in the present, such as meditation or mindfulness, all of them of great benefit in many facets of our lives as well as for health.
I am not referring to copying it from someone admired or taking it from what people who love us tell us, but really looking for it in oneself. Realize what makes us move, what motivates us and what helps us get up every morning, and go for it.
Like any other skill it is something that can be learned and practiced. But for this we must allow ourselves to feel ourselves and accept the inner life of others. Let's not run away from the emotion, Well in the end everything ends up coming back one way or another.
Let's make room for it without judging it as negative or positive, Since everything has its function and if we know how to listen it is what will tell us what we need and where to go.
At the end of the day everything ends up happening, nothing remains in time, so do not worry about negative emotions and look beyond them, learn. In the same way, learn to enjoy positive emotions to the fullest, because they will also go away. Rate them and enjoy them.
To conclude, I would like to share a lecture by Miriam Rojas where she explains in an understandable and simple way all that is exposed in the article:
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