Any criticism represents a challenge for most of us, especially for Highly Sensitive People (PAS), it can be especially devastating.
Sensitive personalities tend to have more intense reactions to criticism than less sensitive ones, and as a result, they often employ certain tactics to avoid facing criticism, such as pleasing people, criticizing themselves first (before the other person has the opportunity) and of course avoid the source of criticism at all costs.
If you are a very sensitive person and you struggle with the overwhelming thoughts that a criticism produces, here are some of the strategies that you can use and that aim to help you cope better, in addition to teaching you to grow through these "bad" experiences.
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The difference between constructive criticism and destructive criticism is the way the comments are made. Constructive criticism points out faults but includes advice or suggestions on how they can be corrected, while destructive criticism aims to directly attack or bring down the person, and of course, does not include practical advice.
Our first instinct when faced with criticism is to get defensive. Even when intended to be helpful, criticism can feel like rejection and elicits our "fight or flight" instinct as a natural response. But when we vent our emotions, we often say things that we regret later. The best we can do is resist the urge to respond immediately. It is important then to take a step back from the situation and think about how it will be processed. Wait until you are calmer and have it clearer before saying anything.
Many extremely sensitive people have a dual type of thinking, in which things are black or white, with no half measures. They see themselves as highly successful people at one point, and soon as completely useless, depending on their most recent achievement or failure. This type of thinking prevents people from seeing themselves in a more comprehensive and realistic way, composed of both positive and negative traits. Let's stay present and give our thoughts a better perspective on reality. Once you've identified an extreme thought, ask yourself, for example, "Where is the evidence that I am the worst employee on the planet?"
It can be easy to misinterpret the slightest negative review. So ask questions to make sure you fully understand what they are telling you. This is especially important if the criticism received is not too clear. One way to determine if you are interpreting the feedback correctly is to paraphrase the message you have heard and communicate it back to the other person, asking, "Am I getting this correctly?"
It is said that there is almost always some truth in every criticism. Or at least, the criticism of a person carries the truth of how that person sees you. Try to listen with an open mind, which doesn't mean you have to believe it right away, but you may be able to find something to make you think. For better or for worse, other people in our lives often act as mirrors that reflect back to us the things that we cannot see for ourselves. Find a way to use this as a learning experience to improve.
Don't believe everything you feel! The feelings are not the facts, the feelings are just that: feelings. They do not always always represent what is happening around you. When you listen to criticism, it often triggers deep feelings of shame, frustration, anger, insufficiency, hopelessness, etc., making it difficult to see the whole situation in perspective, instead of focusing only on those aspects of the situation that we they are bothering you. Ask yourself if your feelings are based on current reality, past experiences, or any fears you have about the future..
After receiving a criticism, it is not uncommon for our ego to feel as if it has been beaten. After this experience you could provide yourself a bit of self-care, doing something that helps you calm down or even comfort yourself, you can watch a funny movie, take a long bubble bath, read a good book or enjoy your favorite food. If you are kind to yourself when things get complicated, you will find that it is easier to achieve greater balance and inner tranquility..
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