Fruit and vegetable jokes

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Philip Kelley
Fruit and vegetable jokes

With jokes we enjoy the moment, we laugh, we learn and we interact with others. For meetings or boring moments they are the best options to make time bearable and to take advantage of it.

In particular, fruit and vegetable jokes are very useful for children to read or for teachers or parents to use in their classes. They not only help teach the name of fruits and vegetables, but also develop a sense of humor.

In the following jokes you will find funny situations with fruits and vegetables as common as apple, orange, tomato, grape, pineapple, banana or pear. You can have the children read them to others or yourself read them to them.

List of fruit and vegetable jokes

What is the fruit that laughs at everything?

The orange, ha ha ha.

How is a mango after lunch?

Simple: mangordito.

Lower the curtain, raise the curtain and a tomato appears receiving a massage ...

How is the play called? Simple: take a break.

The curtain falls, several old grapes appear ...

What is the name of the work? Simple: raisins.

Why was he chasing pineapple on pizza?

Because he loved Hawaiians.

What were the fruits complaining about in the strike?

From vegans!

How is one delinquency declared to another?

Simple: he says: "You make me fall in love".

What did the watermelon rind say?

I have you covered.

What did the lemon say when it cried?

Don't squeeze me!

The curtain falls and a banana appears without money ...

How is the movie called? Simple: SILVER- no.

Why do oranges use sunscreen?

Because their skin peels!

Which tree is the bravest?

Simple: the palm trees, as they sleep with the coconut.

What is the fruit that can explode?

Simple: the Granada.

What dance does the tomato like?

Logical: the sauce.

There are two pears in the kitchen ...

One says to the other: "Excuse me, can you tell me what time it is?" The other responds: “My God! A talking pear! ".

Why did the orange stop studying?

Because he ran out of juice!

How do two bananas say goodbye?

Easy: "Hasta BANANA".

What is the fruit that has the most patience?

Easy: the pear, because wait-pear.

Which fruit is tougher?

Very simple: the peach.

A pineapple meets an apple in the subway line ...

He asks: "Have you been waiting long?" And she replied: No ... "I've always been an apple!".

There is a monkey on top of a mango tree ...

After a while another chimpanzee passes by and says:

-Hello, little monkey! What are you doing up there?

-Nothing here eating apples.

-You're crazy! What you are eating will be mango, not apples!

-What is the problem friend? This morning I bought half a kilo of apples, and I can eat them wherever I want.

What is the name of a pineapple that went to the cinema to see a movie without paying?

Simple: Pina colada.

What is a tomato with a layer?

Simple: a super tomato.

What is a cantaloupe melon?

Simple: a melon disguised as a super tomato.

Which fruit is brown on the outside, green on the inside and also goes up and down?

Simple: a kiwi in an elevator.

Why are grapes purple, round, and small?

Because if they were yellow, elongated and large, they would be bananas!!

There is a green dot in the corner of the fruit school classroom. What is it?

Simple: a punished lemon.

What does the half of an apple looks like?

Simple: to the other half.

A broccoli had an accident ...

His parents went to a doctor and he, after examining him, told them: “I have 2 news, a bad one and a good one..

The good news: he is alive, alive. The bad news is that it was left in a vegetable state.

Do you know that avocado is 50% water?

Yes, and the other 50% cate.

A cherry is walking down the street and when she passes in front of a window she sees herself and says:

Cherry-za me?

The police melon arrives and finds a squashed banana ...

Nearby was a lemon, to which the policeman asks: "Acid you?"

In math class, the teacher asks Pedrito: “If I have 8 coconuts in one hand and 6 watermelons in the other. That I have?".

Pedrito: "Giant hands, teacher".

A friend comments to another: "Did you know that black boxes on airplanes really are orange?".

To which the other friend replies: “What! Are they not boxes? ".

A green grape met a purple one, and when she saw it of that color she exclaimed in anguish:

"Breath breath! That you are drowning! ".

What fruit does the boxer have problems with??

Simple: with pineapples.

A tomato and an apple fought in the middle of the street ...

A banana came to separate them, as a car goes by at full speed. The rest is history mash.

What evil can you find in half an apple while you eat it?

Simple: half worm.

The teacher asked María: "What do I do to divide 10 grapes among 5 people?".

Maria: "Make a juice, teacher".

What did a tangerine say to the children at breakfast?

Nothing, tangerines don't speak.

Why don't bananas like to be alone?

Because they are born grouped.

Two farmers are in the village ...

One asks the other:

-Where are you going?".

-I'm going to get manure for the strawberries.

-What? Why don't you eat them with creams like everyone?

On the way to work, Carlos listened to the news on the radio ...

The announcer says: “Be careful, on Independencia Avenue a jam truck overturned. There is de-Mora ”.

A purple grape meets a green grape that is playing in the garden and says:

"Hey you, see if you grow up!".

Lower the curtain, raise the curtain and pass a pineapple ...

Lower the curtain, raise the curtain and pass a kiwi.

Lower the curtain, raise the curtain and pass a banana.

How is the play called? Simple: it did not happen orange.

What is the great-great-grandmother of the grape?

Easy: raisins.

The mother gave her son a banana, but it was very ripe ...

The child, realizing the state of the banana, tells his mother: "Mom, the banana is soft!" To which the mother responds: "Well, tell him to shut up!".

A chubby boy went to the doctor ...

After examining it the doctor tells him: "It will improve with 9 apples a day".

The boy replies: "But can they be green or red?".

The doctor answers: "No, running".

The curtain opens and a tomato appears ...

The curtain goes down and the curtain goes up: a camera appears.

Lower the curtain, raise the curtain and a tomato appears posing.

How is the play called? Easy: take a selfie.

What is the holiest fruit?

Watermelon.

A little egg is walking ...

The little egg turns around, gets scared and says:

"First time I've seen furry eggs!".

To which they respond: "We are Kiwis!".

A man comes with a sack full of fruits ...

A child asks him: "What fruits do you have in the bag?" The man replied: "If you guess, I'll give you a bunch of bananas!".

A lady went to buy apples ...

After arriving at the stall, he asks the seller: "Are the apples American or French?"

The vendor replied, "Do you want to eat them or talk to them?".

What fruit is red inside and out and also goes through the walls?

Easy: the ghost strawberry.

What did one banana say to another?

Simple: "Run, let's get naked!".

A tomato is near the train track ...

The apple says to her friend: "Do you want to bet I'm so fast that the train won't catch up with me?".

The apple responds: "Okay, okay".

The tomato starts to run and the train comes at full speed.

The apple shouts: “Run tomato, run! Run tomato, run! Run, KETCHUP… run! ".

Other jokes

Jokes with analogy

Direct and indirect speech jokes

Jokes with question marks

Jokes with exclamation marks

Jokes with puns

Animal jokes


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