Constantly overtake us multitude of thoughts that seem to spontaneously bloom in our minds, without hardly having the impression of being able to exercise conscious control over them.
Very often, moreover, when we value these thoughts as contrary or detrimental to our desires or interests, we experience a feeling of internal discomfort in the form of restlessness, sadness, fear, or anger.
These perceptions, in turn, tend to originate more thoughts of the same nature, thus triggering a kind of loop where our concerns feed certain emotions within us "Negative" and these, in turn, give rise to a increased number of distressing thoughts.
In the worst cases, this process (if we do not know how to put an end to it) may end up leading to some kind of anxiety disorder or depression.
In any case, it is very interesting here to realize how easily we get hooked on our worries (from which it is not easy for us to escape) and observe the constant feedback that is generated between our reasoning system and the emotions we feel.
Now, if we stop to reflect a little on this matter, we will see how frequently our worries and concerns are related either to events related to issues that have not yet happened, or to past events that we would have preferred to have happened differently. or directly that they had never happened.
Things become even more curious when we realize that normally this type of mental dissertation does not lead us to any practical solution to our supposed problems since, on the one hand, it is usual that when the case arises, everything that caused us concern does not arrive. never to materialize in reality (at least in the exact way we imagine it) and, on the other hand, it is clear that all our anguish caused by our past memories you will never be able to reverse events that occurred long ago.
However, it is also common that the reason for our suffering is due to events that are certainly happening in our present, that is, when we are dissatisfied with our current reality because we would prefer it to be different from what is actually taking place.
In any case, if we reflect on it, we will see once again that, in themselves, both the fact of being anxious about our present situation and the desire to want to live a different situation from the one we are experiencing are totally incapable of modifying even one iota of ourselves. Current situation.
So instead of getting stuck feeling sorry for ourselves, it can sometimes be helpful interpret our discomfort as a kind of call to mobilization of our own resources to try "to get better" the adverse situation that is occurring to us (whenever possible, of course).
In short, it is very interesting to note how, due to our worries, we often harbor a significant state of suffering that is totally unsuccessful for us, beyond the realization of its complete inefficiency..
In this way, as for example pointed out from the Neurolinguistic Programming (NLP) I think it's useful to check to what extent this whole chain "Irrational thoughts" (based on subjective or arbitrary beliefs and interpretations) do not help us at all and can even make us feel enormously unhappy, thus directly conditioning our feeling of well-being or sense of happiness.
Now, what can we do when we are continually propelled in this direction by thoughts that make us feel bad??
In my opinion, the essential thing is knowing how to place ourselves in a position of "External observer" and relativize the thoughts that are taking place knowing that, in any case, they are due to conjecture and subjective interpretations and not to the reality of the facts themselves.
For this, the awareness of the present moment, of the immediate here and now, but not from the perspective offered by the circumstantial facts or the characteristics of our current context, but from a much deeper point of view, focusing our attention on ourselves, for example through the calm observation of our physical state or of our breath.
At the same time, it is very important not to judge ourselves for feeling this or that way, for thinking this, that, and so on. It is usually totally counterproductive to want to fight against your own emotions and thoughts, because the logical result of this is that we add more discomfort to ourselves..
Now, it is also not convenient in any way to cling to our own ideas or emotions, simply for the sake of feeling them. Therefore, it is essential - even if it costs us - accept what is being given in order, in this way, to let it go and let it flow and thus, little by little, it can transform.
Finally, it is enriching to bear in mind that, even in any situation (however dramatic it may be), there is no single way to respond or act, but rather multiple ones. In fact, we all know cases of different people who have reacted in very different ways to seemingly similar misfortunes (break-ups, layoffs, death of loved ones, illnesses, etc.). So in the end it's not so much "What can happen to me" but how will I be able to respond and cope with it.
Viktor frankl, psychiatrist who survived the Nazi concentration camps, in his work "Man's Search for Meaning" (1946) affirms that attitude to any life circumstance ultimately depends on personal choice.
In this way, therefore, despite the fact that a person cannot always change the circumstances that negatively affect him in his life, he can at all times make use of his individual freedom to choose the attitude with which he faces them..
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