Recover the illusion It is important to return to pursue goals and dreams in life. Without the illusion, lives become darker, less fun, and more monotonous..
Some examples of negative events can be experiencing a love disappointment, the death of a close person, losing a job or going through a period of financial difficulties.
The illusion is characterized by the constant desire that we have for an event to occur that we have waited for some time - such as the desire to travel, the desire to meet someone again, etc..-.
The lack of illusion is also characterized by the absence of goals or the abandonment of them. After living a bad stage in your life, it is normal that you feel that nothing fills you, that you have no illusion towards what you used to have..
"The birds know that there is no winter that lasts a hundred years and that, when the storm passes, the first seed that sprouts is the sun ".-Francisco Morales Santos.
It is very important that you keep in mind what has caused your current situation. It is not the same that it is due to the loss of a job than to a sudden loss of a loved one.
In the first case, the solution is in your hands: you must fight to get another job in the shortest possible time, so that your economic situation and your self-esteem are not deteriorated.
However, there are other situations in which there is no possibility of repairing the situation, as in the mentioned example of a loss of a close person.
In this example, you should focus on dealing with your own emotions, learning to manage them, live with them, and accept the new situation that comes your way..
Once you have thoroughly analyzed the cause of your current discomfort, look for ways to solve it. As we have already mentioned, there are unchangeable situations that do not depend on yourself..
However, even if you cannot change the situation, there are many ways to overcome it, such as changing the way you see things or accepting the loss.
On the contrary, in those situations that can be solved, you should consider finding a way to deal with it. For example, one of the most frequent causes of loss of illusion is occupying a monotonous and boring job.
If this is your case, try to take on new responsibilities that will make you grow as a professional. And, if you feel that the job does not fill you enough, you can consider looking for a new job that better suits your characteristics..
Sadness is a frequent trigger for loss of hope and illusion, and this can cause you to constantly want to cry. Our advice is that you do not repress your urge to cry, since avoiding your emotions will only mean that you cannot face them.
However, you cannot allow your emotions to limit your life and prevent you from carrying out your daily responsibilities. Take time to be aware of the emotions that invade you, but facing them and overcoming them little by little.
In the event that you have experienced the loss of a loved one, it is especially important that you express your emotions, since the first stage of grief is usually denial, and you can become trapped in it if you continue to avoid your pain.
This is a clear example that time does not always heal wounds since if you do not adequately express your feelings in the grieving process, it becomes pathological and decades may pass without you being able to overcome it..
However, with adequate coping with emotions, grief can be overcome in a period of time between 6 months and a year and a half. With regard to your negative emotions such as anger, anger or resentment, it is recommended that you find a way to express them when the context allows it..
Like sadness, it is not appropriate for you to suppress these emotions, but rather to be aware that they exist within you and that you learn to control them - instead of these emotions dominating you.-.
One of the most exciting things is sharing moments and experiences with others. Therefore, you should not distance yourself from the people around you, but rather lean on them to get over the bad streak you have been through..
Don't wait for others to come up with plans. Make them yourself, even if you don't feel like it at first. Avoid negative expectations that you are not going to enjoy yourself, that your mind is going to be elsewhere.
Social events such as family reunions or parties are usually avoided after some events, such as after a sentimental separation or divorce.
To this day, even belonging to a more liberal society, many people try to postpone seeing acquaintances and relatives because they do not dare to communicate the news of the separation. Sometimes it happens out of shame, others because of guilt or fear of criticism or "what will they say".
If this has been your case, you should know that the sooner you face the new situation, the more supported and accompanied you will feel at a stage of your life in which the feeling of loneliness can be very harmful..
In short: lean on your loved ones when you need comfort and plan leisure activities that you can do together. All this will increase your enthusiasm and hope for life and the future.
As the saying goes, "there is no evil that lasts a hundred years", so the stage that you have lived or are living is not eternal either. Life is built of good, bad and neutral moments, and only when you go through a bad stage do you realize how well you were before.
We live with the feeling that everything is eternal: our life, our health, work, love, etc. This feeling that gives us tranquility has a clear adaptive function, since without it we would be continuously worrying about all aspects of our life.
However, as we have already mentioned, when you go through a negative stage, your point of view changes. You begin to be aware that there are aspects of life that are not under your control and that, sometimes, things do not go as one would like.
In fact, this is the cause on many occasions that the illusion is lost due to what previously aroused it in us..
If this is your case, you should start to have more hope for the future, know that, although the same negative circumstances can be repeated, worrying will not achieve anything..
As we have commented previously, people tend to give more importance to what is going wrong in our lives, at the expense of everything that is going well. Therefore, it is normal that you forget to value the positive areas of your life, which are sure to be many - if you stop to think about it-.
One way to help yourself analyze the good and the bad in your life is to make a list of all of them..
Write everything negative on the left side of a sheet of paper, and on the right the positive side. Draw a scale below both lists and observe the result.
To carry out the exercise correctly, try to dedicate as much time as possible and be objective with what you write.
Avoid thinking that you must be excited or radiant with energy every day and, otherwise, it indicates that something is wrong in your life.
Don't worry either if the people around you remind you that you don't have the same energy and vitality that you used to have. Remember that this is a stage in which you are recovering from psychological wear and tear, so you will need some time to recover..
Just like after suffering a muscle injury you need rehabilitation, after having experienced emotional conflicts you need your adaptation period to return to function as before.
Surely some of your vital projects have been modified after going through a bad stage. Depending on the negative situation you have gone through, some plans will be modified and others, paralyzed until everything returns to normal..
Once the bad streak is over -for example, being healthy after having gone through a hard illness- set new goals for which you have to fight from the moment you get up until you go to bed.
Some projects may be the same as before but are more difficult to achieve, such as restarting an academic year. However, others can be completely modified, such as living alone after a couple breakup..
The important thing is that you visualize your goal, that you are realistic and that you do not compare it with your previous projects. Setting subgoals will help you not to give up in the pursuit of your goals.
All this will help you to increase the illusion and hope in the present moment, encouraging you not to give up and seeing that you are gradually approaching your personal goal..
When the lack of enthusiasm is a constant in your life, it can be an indicator that you need to do something exciting. You do not need to take a sabbatical to live the best adventures of your life, a few small changes such as the following will suffice:
Although at first you may not feel like doing these activities, surely if you force yourself to take the step, then you will be glad you did and you will end up enjoying the way you used to..
Sometimes, losing the illusion in life, people become careless and dedicate much less care than before. If you consider that this also happens to you, you should start today to change this situation.
Start by making yourself more handsome before going out, going to the hairdresser, buying new clothes, etc. You should also consider spending time on the habits that you are most passionate about and the ones you put aside during your slump..
For example, you could go back to the gym or take up language classes again.
By putting these tips into practice, you will be able to experience illusion in your life again and you will feel more satisfied with yourself..
And you, what other tips would you add to recover the illusion after a bad stage?
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