The impulsiveness It occurs when we react to external stimuli in an extremely fast and excessive way, without being able to reflect previously. Although it is a habit, it can be controlled in children and adults.
It can be defined as a multifactorial concept that implies a tendency to act on a whim, showing a behavior characterized by little reflection, anticipation or consideration of the consequences. Impulsive behaviors are often inappropriate, risky, and with undesirable consequences.
On the other hand, there may be a beneficial type of impulsivity that involves acting quickly without thinking, albeit in appropriate situations and that are supposed to have positive consequences. When these situations have positive results, it is not usually seen as a sign of impulsiveness, but rather as speed, spontaneity, courage or cunning.
Therefore impulsivity means: acting without thinking deliberately and choosing short-term gains instead of long-term gains..
Although it can be a facet of personality, it can also be a component of several disorders: autism, ADHD, drug dependence, bipolar disorder, antisocial personality disorder, and borderline personality disorder..
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Impulsive actions and reactions are part of human nature and can be both positive and negative.
For example, an impulsive decision such as braking when you are driving and you perceive that the car on your side is going to suddenly merge into your lane can be a good or bad decision..
It will be successful if the car on your side actually performs the action you perceive and by braking hard you manage not to collide with it. It will be misguided if the car on your side does not really perform the action you thought it would do and by braking hard you cause the car behind you to collide with you..
What I am trying to explain to you with this simple example is that impulsive reactions are normal and often necessary, however performing them carry a certain risk.
And they carry a risk because when you take an impulsive action you do not use the thought at any time, since the reaction comes long before you can think..
Therefore, when you perform actions of this type, you do not have time to properly analyze whether the action you will take is appropriate or not, so you will not know the consequences of your act until after you have done it..
The problem comes when we abuse impulsive behaviors and we get used to always responding hastily. If you get used to functioning impulsively, what you will be doing is betting all your actions on Russian roulette, without ever knowing if that reaction will be correct or not..
Doing this will obviously lead to problems, since by not rationalizing the reactions they will often be wrong..
In addition, impulsive behaviors are closely associated with frustration, lack of control and aggressiveness, so if you respond impulsively you will often perform these types of behaviors.
Therefore, one thing is clear, if we want to act in an appropriate way, have appropriate behaviors and avoid problems, we must function in a rational way instead of an impulsive way.
Learn to control your impulsiveness and behave in a rational way with the ten steps that we explain below.
The first step you must take to control your impulsiveness is to realize that you must. By this I mean that you must be aware that you have too many difficulties to control your impulsive behaviors and you use them excessively.
If you are not aware of this you will never change your impulsive behavior and you will not learn to control it. In any case, to get rid of doubts about whether your behaviors are too impulsive or you cannot do the following exercise:
When night comes, review all the behaviors and all the reactions that you have had during the day.
Write them all down and describe how your reaction or behavior has been, what you have done, why and what consequences it has entailed. Once you have done it, go over one by one and think about them.
Have the reactions been impulsive or not? Have you responded extremely quickly and have not given yourself time to think about your behavior? Was the behavior appropriate or could you have done something else? Can you think of a calmer alternative to react?
What have you felt when you have acted? Were you nervous, angry or irritated? Could you have controlled your behavior or have you noticed that at that moment you could not do anything else?
Ask yourself all these questions about each of your behaviors and if your behaviors are too impulsive you will notice it quickly.
Do this exercise for three or four days and if you come to the conclusion that there are several times when you could act in a more calm and rational way, continue with the second step.
Once you are clear that you must improve your ability to control impulsivity, what you must do is learn to detect stimuli. To do this you can do the same as we have done in point one. Write down on a sheet each of your impulsive actions and describe how they have been.
Once you have done it, think about them and ask the following question for each impulsive action: what was the stimulus that caused my disproportionate reaction?
Once you have done it with the majority of impulsive behaviors, draw your own conclusions, surely many of them you already knew before doing this exercise:
What are the things that usually cause my impulsive behavior? It is very important that you are very clear about what these stimuli are, that you know them and be aware of them.
And it is that if you want to be able to control your impulsiveness, it will be essential that you know how to detect in advance those risky situations in which it is very likely that you will respond impulsively.
The next step is to know how to control the volcano so that it does not erupt, that is, to be able to stop your impulsive behavior in those situations that induce you to respond in this way..
In order to control your impulsive behavior so that it does not appear, it is very important that you have done the previous step well, and have been able to anticipate that the situation in question may induce impulsive behavior..
If you have managed to detect the situation as dangerous and have prepared yourself not to respond impulsively, you will have a lot to win. And it is that what makes it difficult to control impulsivity is that it is immediate, it appears suddenly, and it is so fast that we do not have time to be able to act before it.
In order to control the volcano you have to be able to do two things that allow you to respond before the impulsive behavior appears:
1. Know those situations that can make you respond impulsively and when they appear, detect them and prepare yourself not to react impulsively.
2. Know the internal sensations that occur inside you when you get angry (like a volcano when it starts to heat up and produce lava) to detect them when they appear and try not to become impulsive behavior.
Once you are able to detect the moments in which you react in an impulsive way, you are ready to modify your type of response.
As we have said, the main problem with impulsivity is that it is immediate and prior to thought, so when it appears we do not have material time to stop it with thought..
What we have to do to prevent this from happening is to learn to delay our response. This consists of getting used to allowing a few seconds to pass before reacting or acting..
This exercise should always be done, not only in those moments when you notice that you can respond impulsively, since the objective is to get used to always answering in a delayed way.
If you succeed, it will be much more difficult for your impulsive behaviors to appear. To do this, you can do the simple exercise of counting to 3 before reacting..
Even though you manage to count to 3 before reacting in all situations, your impulsiveness can still show up. The exercises we have done so far allow us to gain time on impulsivity but not eliminate it.
However, if you have come this far you already have a lot of cattle, since the hardest thing to beat impulsivity is time. But now comes the important thing ... What do we do with this weather?
Well, the main objective is to be able to use it so that our rational part appears, which will be in charge of controlling impulsivity. Imagine a situation that prompts you to respond impulsively. So far we have done the following:
1. You had already detected the situation as dangerous, so as it developed you have been preparing yourself not to respond in an impulsive way.
2. You have noticed how anger has been filling inside so you have prepared to control the volcano and not rush.
3. You have been able to count to 3 before answering.
But now what do we do? Well, convince yourself that the best way to respond is not impulsively. To do it, what you have to do is repeat self-instructions such as the following:
"Before doing anything I'm going to think about it."
"Is what I will say now justified?"
"If I say what I'm thinking, am I rushing?"
"What I'm going to do now is impulsive behavior?"
Impulsive reactions share a certain behavior, so if we manage to develop an alternative type of behavior every time the appearance of impulsivity is feared, it will be less likely to appear.
For example, if every time you feel that you are getting angry you get used to using self-instructions and taking a step backwards, you will increase your control over impulsivity..
The self-instructions that we have discussed, which you will use in times of emergency, should serve not only to eliminate impulsivity, but to develop a different way of thinking.
When you are calm at home, you should develop a list of self-instructions much more extensive than the previous one. The objective is that you develop by yourself a series of key ideas that allow you to approach life in a more rational way.
To do this, you can point out the advantages of functioning in a rational way, the disadvantages of rushing, the problems that you have saved yourself since you do not react impulsively, in short, any idea you have in favor of acting in a calm and rational way..
These key ideas will serve to strengthen your belief about self-instructions and therefore they will be more effective..
One of the characteristics of impulsivity is that it activates and prepares our body to respond immediately to a certain situation. However, as we have already said before, this does not have to be bad, since many times being impulsive can be beneficial..
This activation can be really useful if you can channel it into regulated activities. In addition, if we can learn to use impulsivity in opportune situations, it will cost us less to control it in the rest of the situations..
To learn how to channel impulsivity properly, I recommend doing some type of sport, since it is the most appropriate activity to give free rein to impulsivity in a controlled way..
Likewise, to have a less predisposition to impulsivity, it is convenient that you learn to acquire states of relaxation on a regular basis. To do this, I recommend that you do the following exercise daily for about 10-15 minutes:
In this article you can learn more relaxation techniques.
If your day-to-day life is very stressful, you will have a lower capacity to adequately perform the previous nine steps that will allow you to control your impulsiveness..
If you notice that stress invades your life, organize your activities and your time, and try to achieve the necessary balance to live more peacefully. Set aside moments to distract yourself and relax, and try not to be doing non-stop activities.
If you do, you will acquire a more relaxed general state that will allow you to have a less predisposition to impulsivity.
And how do you do it to control impulsivity? Share your experiences with us to help readers!
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