Why don't many people ask for professional help?

It is a reality that many people find it difficult to take the step of ask for professional help to solve your emotional problems, and many of them don't even consider it. In an increasingly complicated world and in which we have not been prepared for what we are living and will live, the figure of the therapist or mental health professional should be increasingly elevated to the standard of “essential”. These professionals whose mission is to help other people to feel better and overcome your limitations They should be highly valued professionals and demanded by any type of public.

I dare say that until we learn to educate our children so that they believe they are capable of living life from the right attitude and prepare them psychologically for its different stages, most people will need professional help at some point in their life. life or periodically. Another matter is that they take the step to take that help. But for most adults to have grown up with the enough mental toughness to fend for themselves, I think a few generations will still pass.

As I have already mentioned, a good therapy professional should have a large number of clients because their target audience is anyone. And the truth is that there are many professionals who are doing very well, but for many others it is not like that. There are many reasons why the result of this sector can be improved, but without a doubt, one of the causes is market demand, a market of people who mostly do not seek professional help despite the fact that in most cases they need it.

Let's face it, there is a lot of social stigma around therapies. Going to the psychologist is not well seen, it sounds like a serious problem. Having a coach is better viewed, but still making the decision is a chasm for most people. An example of this are some of the social beliefs that prevent people from making the decision to ask for help:

• They believe that going to therapy is synonymous with "being crazy"
• They believe that their feelings and traumas are not counted, that they must be saved and lived with them
• They believe that with time everything heals
• They do not believe that therapy will help them, they do not believe in its benefits

The underlying problem is that we have not been taught to ask for help. We have grown up in most cases in an environment in which intimacies were hidden and showing feelings was synonymous with vulnerability and weakness. As children we were taught to give kisses as a superficial show of affection and with time it was lost to become serious and correct people. There was no talk of emotions or feelings. It did not delve into the causes of our discomfort, we had to move on and forget.

Our parents did not spend time getting to know their children better, exploring their deepest concerns and desires. They have always told us that you have to be strong and get up again and again, forgetting that to get up it is important to ask for a hand to hold on to, that you have to ask for help. An emotionally individualized society has been created, where people compete instead of collaborating.

Children were not educated to team up with other children, or to express their opinion without fear of censorship, or to express their feelings through their body, their voice or their emotions. We have forgotten the language of emotions, being a taboo subject in many homes because, among other things, it is not understood what is being talked about. All of this has created people unable to think of looking for other people to solve their problems.. Society has tied up the imperative need to ask for help.

In this society without developed emotional capacities, everything that has to do with emotions sounds strange and strange, and consequently it is not part of our vocabulary, nor of our knowledge. And it also has a doubly devastating effect, since in addition to ignorance we find ourselves with the negative charge towards the emotional and the psychological to the point that justifying that "I'm not crazy" is an empty argument in the form of a smokescreen to cover what we really feel, and that is fear of exposing ourselves inside. For all this, despite the fact that much progress has been made in the myth of the role of psychologists and therapists, society still continues to associate this profession with madness. According to professionals, it is the fear of “taking off our armor” that keeps us away from therapy..

What makes a person prefer to stay with pain instead of facing it? Are they aware that without facing pain there is no well-being? Do we live in a society that instead of looking for solutions we anesthetize ourselves in routine with superficial tasks, commitments and plans? What can professionals do to reduce reluctance?, Why is it so hard for us to ask for help? These are some of the questions whose correct answer depends on the quality and results of many therapy professionals and the accompaniment of people..

If we agree that the expectation that society has towards psychological help is largely due to education and the transmission of wrong values ​​and ideals, we will therefore agree that to turn this paradigm around, we will have to act from responsibility as a society and assume that people who do not want to go to the psychologist are victims of their thoughts and beliefs.

The true source of change is found in the people we have more or less capacity to educate. We have to begin to see personal change as something necessary to live with satisfaction and permanent well-being, otherwise a life awaits us in which the days will pass without a fixed direction, without a horizon to which to direct. And as we get older and life gets in the way of us, it is most likely that we will not learn to manage all this from the true capacity of a human being to feel the bad and process it to turn it into a positive.

Those of us who love this profession and this lifestyle must impact each person who approaches us in the best possible way. We must ensure that they see us as the solution to their discomfort, and above all that they find us accessible and close, willing to offer them sincere help that goes beyond listening to their problems and their outlets..

We must know how to explain clearly and in a language adapted to each person, that without self-knowledge there is no well-being, and that the best and fastest way to know ourselves is by having in front of a person who acts as a mirror and directs you towards the real truth, and not the truth we believe in our heads full of mental noise and confusion.

I dare to suggest some ideas to change the paradigm, to capture the attention of the person in need and persuade them to accept professional help:

• We must do extensive dissemination work on the values ​​and benefits of help and psychological support. Impact society with a clear message that it is the only way to reach a true state of mental and emotional health. I have been to many talks on how to overcome fears and limitations so that attendees then call the speaker to hire his services. This is fine, but I would like to see a poster of a talk that is titled “Reasons why a therapist can be one of the most important people in your life”, and instead of talking about so much “how”, talk more about “ what".

• Connect with the patient / client environment. Approaching people indirectly, through loved ones. On many occasions, it is the family members themselves who take the initiative to worry about their loved one. Let's promote this niche of influencers.

• Do sessions in different places. Perhaps the time has come to consider leaving the cold office or consultation and connecting with our patients / clients in other contexts. I think that the coldness of the consultation does not favor the approach.

• • A therapist or psychologist must love people, literally. And that passion must learn better and better to communicate and connect with people, no matter what type they are. We must become masters of relationships, and master communication techniques that allow us to generate trust and credibility from the first moment.

Much remains to be done and to move forward, but it is worth at least stopping to reflect on the causes that cause a large part of this society not to take the step to ask for help when the first symptoms of disability and discomfort appear. In this way we will find the keys to change the mentality and resemble the Anglo-Saxon countries, where practically every person passes at some time in their life through the hands of a therapist or change facilitator..

Long live the mental and emotional health professionals. Without them the world would not be the same.