“Anyone has the potential to become suicidal when faced with a situation that produces emotional pain and considers it endless, intolerable and with no way out. (J. A Chiles and K. Strosahl; The suicidal patient)
This is the main cause of any thoughts about suicide. Today we are going to learn a few things about this topic. Above all, how to act and what unreal myths are told about it.
False myths about suicide
We start with the most obvious. There are certain myths about suicide that are completely false. For example:
When people talk about committing suicide, they never really do. Most people who commit suicide have warned directly, or indirectly.
Anyone who tries to kill himself is crazy. False, extreme emotional pain does not even have to be linked to mental illness.
If a person is willing to kill himself, nothing and no one can prevent it. Most suicides don't want to die. They just want to get rid of that agony, or maybe they have mixed feelings and life and death are intermingled in a very confusing way..
After overcoming a suicidal crisis, that person is already out of danger. That feeling may linger, or it may appear again in the future..
How can we detect it?
And now let's start with the practical part. Can we detect if a person is thinking about committing suicide? Yes, there are certain indications. Of course, that we detect any of them, does not mean that that person will inevitably commit it. Most of the time, these signs are calls for help. They are a way of expressing how bad they are feeling. But that doesn't mean we have to relax. We must be attentive to things such as:
Of course, the greater the depression, the greater the risk of falling into this idea..
And this should be the first callsign. Depression degenerates a person a lot. But generally, if you suffer from depression, there is always a risk.
Hearing this person say things like: “Everyone would be better off without me”, “You'll feel it when I'm dead”, “Don't worry, I won't be here long”.
They seem like phrases said to attract attention. But we must not underestimate them.
Preoccupation with death. Either talking or writing about it.
Make a will, fix papers, give things away
Be suddenly happy and relaxed after having experienced an episode of deep sadness.
This is the one that attracts the most attention. When a person has made the decision to commit suicide, nothing else worries him. There is no reason to be depressed anymore. You have already taken a practical solution.
Suddenly visiting friends and family, since it would be a farewell.
Having had many accidents all of a sudden. Or has been involved in some risky behavior, such as speeding, self-harm, etc..
Accumulate drugs.
Talk about suicide. Even joking.
And if that person tells you that he wants to commit suicide, look at the following elements:
Find out if there is an immediate risk of suicide. If by chance, you already have the timing and form in mind. Normally, there is no imminent risk of suicide, but if so, feel free to notify the police.
Don't leave it alone. Listen to what they have to say. Do not judge, do not try to put yourself in his place and understand what he feels. As unrealistic as what he is saying may sound, it is his feelings that are important. Remember: her pain is so great that she would rather die than move on.
Don't try to make him feel guilty by telling him, for example, that he will do a lot of harm to his family if he dies. Is much worse that.
Do not dismiss anything he tells you, for example telling him not to think about those things, or to forget, or anything like that.
Show him attention. Let him cry, let him be angry. It does not matter, that he expresses everything he has to express.
And then your return, what you should tell him is that what he feels, even if he says otherwise, has treatment. That there are other alternatives. That a person with these thoughts should first go to a specialist and not dismiss the help of professionals. Tell him that these thoughts and wishes are always temporary. And whatever happens, you will help him get better.
And already put, since you are going to help, take out of your house all those objects that could be dangerous; such as medications. And of course, help him find a psychologist or psychiatrist.
What if I'm the one with suicidal thoughts?
Well, what if I happen to be the risk factor myself? What if I am the one who has these ideas? What can I do to silence them?
All suicidal thoughts are transitory. It can last longer, or last less, depending on how serious that person's situation is. But those feelings, even for depressed people themselves, end up becoming predictable. Most suicides happen during the first three depressive episodes, before they are aware of this transitory nature. Afterwards, the risk of suicide decreases.
Here are some practical tips to help you:
Write a list of 5 or 10 trusted people you could turn to, with their contacts.
Promise yourself that as soon as you have those kinds of ideas, you will drop whatever you are doing, and you will call the first person on that list. If he does not answer, or does not take it seriously, to the second. And so on until you can talk to someone.
Find a psychologist and make an appointment immediately.
Keep a journal where you can describe your depressive symptoms and your suicidal thoughts.
At the same time, write about your goals, your hopes and wishes for the future. Even if they are unrealistic or ideal. Also write about the important people in your life. This document will be like a wild card. You can read it every time you feel bad.
After you describe them, you will be able to identify the signs and symptoms that will lead to anxiety or another suicidal crisis. Record yourself that these symptoms are signs for you to start taking care of yourself. Not to make you mad at yourself or feel self-pity.
The idea of death is something we all have. Do not deny it. We have all thought at some point what it feels like to die, or what the world would be like if I were not there. It is normal. It's something we'll have to face sooner or later.
If you want to know more, or have a more attractive resource, you can always take into account this video where all this is told, and some more things.
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